Well, let's update everyone-- as if that many of you even read this, haha..
I moved back on campus on Sunday. This dorm is MUCH nicer than last year's, and my roommate and I got along right away. I have yet to navigate my way around this whole building, but I suppose I will manage okay should I decide to.
Classes are good-- I'm taking Intro to International Relations, which fucking pwns.... Elementary Latin 1, and I am already seeing similarities between it and Spanish, so I think I have a leg up... and Mock Trial, which is great to give me some more Law experience to help me decide if I want to go to law school.
I can't shake the feeling that I am a terrible person lately... I broke up with my boyfriend of 2.5 years on Monday and it's not been easy. I know that I will never really enjoy college life unless I am single-- not because I want to sleep around, but because I insist on being such a "hands-on" girlfriend I distance myself from the environment here in order to spend more time with him. Also, he and I want different things. Eventually, I want to have children and get married. On a shorter-term scale, I'd like to live with a serious boyfriend. He never wanted any of that, and only conceded to a possibe exception once I said I was leaving. He will never really be happy with that level of commitment, and why should we sit around perfecting something that has no potential? So I can leave him in four years, when it will REALLY hurt?
I just feel so bad that I hurt him. For the most part, I am doing pretty well other than missing having him to talk to and often wondering how he's doing. Once you've had your heart broken, you know what it feels like when someone else is going through the same thing... and quite frankly if I think too much about it I want to fucking die.
There's more, but we have mutual friends and I feel like I can't really talk to anyone about it, since I don't want people we know going to him. I've received an offer to talk, but as much as I appreciated it... I don't trust it. Most importantly, I have to try and hurt Shawn as little as I can. Hurt myself instead.
I moved back on campus on Sunday. This dorm is MUCH nicer than last year's, and my roommate and I got along right away. I have yet to navigate my way around this whole building, but I suppose I will manage okay should I decide to.
Classes are good-- I'm taking Intro to International Relations, which fucking pwns.... Elementary Latin 1, and I am already seeing similarities between it and Spanish, so I think I have a leg up... and Mock Trial, which is great to give me some more Law experience to help me decide if I want to go to law school.
I can't shake the feeling that I am a terrible person lately... I broke up with my boyfriend of 2.5 years on Monday and it's not been easy. I know that I will never really enjoy college life unless I am single-- not because I want to sleep around, but because I insist on being such a "hands-on" girlfriend I distance myself from the environment here in order to spend more time with him. Also, he and I want different things. Eventually, I want to have children and get married. On a shorter-term scale, I'd like to live with a serious boyfriend. He never wanted any of that, and only conceded to a possibe exception once I said I was leaving. He will never really be happy with that level of commitment, and why should we sit around perfecting something that has no potential? So I can leave him in four years, when it will REALLY hurt?
I just feel so bad that I hurt him. For the most part, I am doing pretty well other than missing having him to talk to and often wondering how he's doing. Once you've had your heart broken, you know what it feels like when someone else is going through the same thing... and quite frankly if I think too much about it I want to fucking die.
There's more, but we have mutual friends and I feel like I can't really talk to anyone about it, since I don't want people we know going to him. I've received an offer to talk, but as much as I appreciated it... I don't trust it. Most importantly, I have to try and hurt Shawn as little as I can. Hurt myself instead.
My AIM is thedeviousmonkey. Feel free to chat me up. I'm pretty much on the internet 20 hours a day!
Sounds like you're taking some pretty interesting classes. That oughtta keep ya busy!