I live in the suburbs. If you've ever lived there, you know that it's boring...REALLY boring. If anything remotely interesting happens, it becomes a fucking show. A good example would be November 2002, when my exwife yelled at me all the way to the car when we separated. I'm surprised there weren't pictures taken.
Anyway, there's a middle-aged couple just down the street from my house, and they have a pet bird...one of those ones that imitates sounds, but not a parrot. Apparently the bird got out of its cage and the house and landed at the top of the tree in their backyard. My roommate and I spent a while watching the bird from our backyard (smoking and drinking of course) and listening to the owners try to call the bird down, and listening to the bird repeat the same sounds it hears.
I know this bird isn't coming down, because it's not a scared goddamn cat. It's a bird that's been in a cage all its life and now it's free. Good luck.
All of the sudden, I hear someone to the left (out front of the house) also calling the bird. I became curious. So I go out front and there's two jr. high skateboarders sitting on the curb making noises at the bird as well. I walked across the street to tell the kids, "Hey, you're going to confuse the bird and make it harder to get it back in its cage", but one of the kids said,"Dude, this bird imitates any sound you do to it." He then makes a high-pitched "CAW" noise, and the bird chirped back, "caw". Then the kids laugh and said, "Hey, try it."
Suddenly, I revert back to 12 years old and say, "Why not?"
Picture me...sitting on the curb with two skate punks...(oh, drinking a beer and smoking, too) heckling a bird. My roommate came out, looked at us, shook his head and closed the door.
All of the sudden, the owner of the bird (or the owner's husband) comes out and starts yelling at us, "GODDAMN IT, kids! Quit messing with my bird!" And he starts running at us. The two kids get up, grab their boards and haul some ass. I too, start to run and then stopped and thought, Wait, I'm 30 years old. Why am I running?
"GET OUT OF HERE!"
"I didn't do anything...it was those kids."
"Why didn't you stop them?"
"Because I'm not their parents. Go get your bird."
"Fuck you."
"No, FUCK YOU!"
Then I hear the bird echo back an "uckyou" sound in the same pitch.
I waited until the guy went back to his house to burst out laughing.
I don't know if they got the bird. I didn't stick around to watch the rest of the show...The Simpsons came on.
Anyway, there's a middle-aged couple just down the street from my house, and they have a pet bird...one of those ones that imitates sounds, but not a parrot. Apparently the bird got out of its cage and the house and landed at the top of the tree in their backyard. My roommate and I spent a while watching the bird from our backyard (smoking and drinking of course) and listening to the owners try to call the bird down, and listening to the bird repeat the same sounds it hears.
I know this bird isn't coming down, because it's not a scared goddamn cat. It's a bird that's been in a cage all its life and now it's free. Good luck.
All of the sudden, I hear someone to the left (out front of the house) also calling the bird. I became curious. So I go out front and there's two jr. high skateboarders sitting on the curb making noises at the bird as well. I walked across the street to tell the kids, "Hey, you're going to confuse the bird and make it harder to get it back in its cage", but one of the kids said,"Dude, this bird imitates any sound you do to it." He then makes a high-pitched "CAW" noise, and the bird chirped back, "caw". Then the kids laugh and said, "Hey, try it."
Suddenly, I revert back to 12 years old and say, "Why not?"
Picture me...sitting on the curb with two skate punks...(oh, drinking a beer and smoking, too) heckling a bird. My roommate came out, looked at us, shook his head and closed the door.
All of the sudden, the owner of the bird (or the owner's husband) comes out and starts yelling at us, "GODDAMN IT, kids! Quit messing with my bird!" And he starts running at us. The two kids get up, grab their boards and haul some ass. I too, start to run and then stopped and thought, Wait, I'm 30 years old. Why am I running?
"GET OUT OF HERE!"
"I didn't do anything...it was those kids."
"Why didn't you stop them?"
"Because I'm not their parents. Go get your bird."
"Fuck you."
"No, FUCK YOU!"
Then I hear the bird echo back an "uckyou" sound in the same pitch.
I waited until the guy went back to his house to burst out laughing.
I don't know if they got the bird. I didn't stick around to watch the rest of the show...The Simpsons came on.
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Smoking is hottt!!!