Bad Audience Etiquette
Dear concertgoers,
It's time for a little live music viewing 101:
1)If you wish to make it to the front of the stage when the band starts playing, try getting to the show earlier. Or, God forbid, say "excuse me" if you run into people with your Neanderthal shoulders.
2) Flinging beer on people around you in a show impresses no one. You will not get laid by doing this, but hopefully one day you will get your ass kicked.
3) One person alone cannot start a mosh pit. If you run into a crowd of music fans and start shoving them as you bounce around, they are not moshing back. Theyre shoving you away from them to avoid smashing their beer bottle on your head in anger.
4) The ONLY time you should make a request to the band to play a certain song is if they have a tip jar and you just tipped them. Even then there should be no yelling. You should be close enough to ask for a song. When you're watching a big show, yelling out titles of songs doesn't do anything but irritate the band and the people around you. You're irritating because you are more than likely screaming out the band's most popular song, which they're going to play eventually. The Supersuckers are going to play "Born With a Tail"...they're just not going to play it in the first half of the show. And PLEASE stop requesting "Gin'n'Juice" at The Gourds shows. They've actually written songs, did you know that? They have several albums of original material. Just shut up and enjoy the PREPLANNED show, or instead, stay home and play the one song you want to hear over and over while thinking to yourself, "Hey, it's too bad that I have to ruin the show for people around me because I'm a thoughtless knob."
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I wrote the above in a letter to the editor for the Austin Chronicle. I unfortunately didn't remember to add a little something for the comedy club goer:
5) One of these days when the world is perfect, every individual that goes to a comedy show will figure out that if their phone doesn't have a vibrate setting, they should cut it off?and if by chance it does ring, they immediately take it out of the room before answering, "Hello?" out loud during a punchline.
6) No matter how clever you think you are, or how much you think the comedian on stage needs your help, he doesn't. You suck. You're an idiot heckler and you're ruining the show. If you were that funny you'd be doing comedy, but you're not?so either shut the fuck up, or go find some shitty improv troupe to hassle.
Dear concertgoers,
It's time for a little live music viewing 101:
1)If you wish to make it to the front of the stage when the band starts playing, try getting to the show earlier. Or, God forbid, say "excuse me" if you run into people with your Neanderthal shoulders.
2) Flinging beer on people around you in a show impresses no one. You will not get laid by doing this, but hopefully one day you will get your ass kicked.
3) One person alone cannot start a mosh pit. If you run into a crowd of music fans and start shoving them as you bounce around, they are not moshing back. Theyre shoving you away from them to avoid smashing their beer bottle on your head in anger.
4) The ONLY time you should make a request to the band to play a certain song is if they have a tip jar and you just tipped them. Even then there should be no yelling. You should be close enough to ask for a song. When you're watching a big show, yelling out titles of songs doesn't do anything but irritate the band and the people around you. You're irritating because you are more than likely screaming out the band's most popular song, which they're going to play eventually. The Supersuckers are going to play "Born With a Tail"...they're just not going to play it in the first half of the show. And PLEASE stop requesting "Gin'n'Juice" at The Gourds shows. They've actually written songs, did you know that? They have several albums of original material. Just shut up and enjoy the PREPLANNED show, or instead, stay home and play the one song you want to hear over and over while thinking to yourself, "Hey, it's too bad that I have to ruin the show for people around me because I'm a thoughtless knob."
--------------------
I wrote the above in a letter to the editor for the Austin Chronicle. I unfortunately didn't remember to add a little something for the comedy club goer:
5) One of these days when the world is perfect, every individual that goes to a comedy show will figure out that if their phone doesn't have a vibrate setting, they should cut it off?and if by chance it does ring, they immediately take it out of the room before answering, "Hello?" out loud during a punchline.
6) No matter how clever you think you are, or how much you think the comedian on stage needs your help, he doesn't. You suck. You're an idiot heckler and you're ruining the show. If you were that funny you'd be doing comedy, but you're not?so either shut the fuck up, or go find some shitty improv troupe to hassle.