smirkingatyou

My two upper wisdom teeth have come in. My two bottom wisdom teeth are lagging a bit. Soon, all four will be surgically excised, which is a nice way of saying that I'll pay a small fortune to have them ripped from my fucking head. All four were just minding their business until recently. Ya see, in order to work properly, teeth need to come in opposing pairs. If they don't, then you risk crushing a piece of food (a kernal of popcorn, for instance) into your gum. Because the average mouth is about as clean as a hobo's foot, this can cause an infection and hurt like savage Hell. The end result is you gargling salt water and wondering why God hates you so much.

Incidently, if your dentist looks down and you and says . . .
"Your gum is so swollen that it has an indentation from your upper wisdom tooth. That's amazing. I've never seen that before."

then you'll want to reply with . . .
"Fuck you, tooth scraper. I'll give you five bucks if you shut the fuck up while you do your God damned job. My jaw hurts. Fix it."

but instead you'll say . . .
"Does this mean you're going to name a syndrome after me?"