smileawhile

thanks you to the ladies who posted comments to my oct 25th blog-damn i am in a dark place that im still trying to climb out of. i had a horrible week last tues and wed at work, cried both days-i gathered it all together and made it through tues but wed i lost the ability to keep going and so i wrote a note to my employer and left work crying. it sucks so much sometimes that i cant just handle things like other people. why do i have to be so emotionally aware and intune with others feelings? why do i have to care about what others think and do? ....
so i did go back thurs and fri in effort not to isolate and become afraid of going back. i survived and here i am at another monday. i also am in a hard place wishing i had a girlfriend, just reciently i have become hyper focused or turned on by feminine affection (etc.) actually more so than ever remember before and dont have a partner with which to "interact" with most days i can manage fine and stay upbeat about the relationship issue and
sometimes i just want to snuggle and hold hands but cant even do that a the moment as im lacking a significant women in my life. so pray/chant/offer sacrifices whatever you choose to whom/what ever you worship that i may find a great lady to share some of this energy with aside from that (which i appreciate being able to blog about and that you have taken the time to read about) i did accomplish several household tasks this weekend that have been hanging over my head causing stress so yeah me. miss my daddy George today alot, wish i could share my hurt with him. i <3 Danielle and Otoki, thanks for being my friends.