I've dealt with many, many addicts in my time. It has, and will probably continue to be, one of the most difficult components of psychology for me to understand.
It's not like a common cold, something you can identify specific physical symptoms, and specific treatments. Addiction, alcoholism...they vary. There is a whole broad spectra, and very vague definitions.
Addicts take advantage, even if they don't realize they're doing it, of the vagueness associated with the label.
"There are different kinds of alcoholics."
"I don't actually crave alcohol."
"I can't be alcoholic, I don't drink everyday."
All of these phrases are commonly used by those who fight desperately to avoid the label of being an alcoholic. They are used to convince people that they're okay, that they made some bad decisions, but they don't actually have a problem.
In dealing with people with substance abuse problems, I've found that the biggest problem isn't the one with the problem. It's the family member close to them, that wants nothing more than to believe that they're okay. The family member that is easily swayed by the addict/alcoholic's excuses. They are easily persuaded to believe that they somehow blew the situation out of proportion, and that said addict should still be able to hang out with who they used to.
I wish i knew the magic words to say.
It's not like a common cold, something you can identify specific physical symptoms, and specific treatments. Addiction, alcoholism...they vary. There is a whole broad spectra, and very vague definitions.
Addicts take advantage, even if they don't realize they're doing it, of the vagueness associated with the label.
"There are different kinds of alcoholics."
"I don't actually crave alcohol."
"I can't be alcoholic, I don't drink everyday."
All of these phrases are commonly used by those who fight desperately to avoid the label of being an alcoholic. They are used to convince people that they're okay, that they made some bad decisions, but they don't actually have a problem.
In dealing with people with substance abuse problems, I've found that the biggest problem isn't the one with the problem. It's the family member close to them, that wants nothing more than to believe that they're okay. The family member that is easily swayed by the addict/alcoholic's excuses. They are easily persuaded to believe that they somehow blew the situation out of proportion, and that said addict should still be able to hang out with who they used to.
I wish i knew the magic words to say.
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and you are totally right being the one who loves the addict is the hardest thing.
my father
my grandmother
my ex boyfriend (who died from a heroin ovedose)
are just a couple of the addicts ive had close to me.
its so hard to watch a beautiful person be crushed under their own weight.