slut_free_youth

there is a reason why i rarely check my emails.

i don't understand people, or why they do the things they do. is it human for people to automatically talk negative about someone and then when they realize they've lost what they thought would crawl back, they want to make ammends? make truths? i can't even begin to think why humans think this way.
my efforts to make it work was on that day. i wanted to know answers, all i got was silence. now i am supposed to pretend like i'm okay with it all and let it all go? forget that. i am so happy now and i don't need anyone to rain on my fuckin parade. i don't need it. perhaps im bitter right now because im tired. but i just don't see the reasoning behind the human mind. i try to analyze my own reasonings... why i do what i do... why i don't let things hurt me, why i just "squash" everything that seems to be a problem in my life. i guess, just dropping everything and saying 'fuck it' is a little easier than fighting for something to return to normal.
it doesn't help when i try to cope with bullshit, and my girlfriend, as loving as she is, has to put in her two cents of "fuck that shit. youre better than that." most people want to hear that from the person they care about.. but in some situations, it's best if they just shut up. sams a great person, no doubt about it, but i just can't handle her getting all heated over an email. that's all it was. it wasn't even that dramatic... and she flies off the deep end.
i think i just should change my email password so she can't read them anymore?

i responded as strong as i could, because i don't want anymore problems. i don't want them. i don't want the headaches, the heartaches, the pain, the anger, the stupid kid crap that us females do so well. i don't want it. i kept it short and handled it as best as i could without blowing up.

i'm good. i'm calm.
"IT'S GUUUUUUUUUUUUEWD"

someone get me a lemon drop martini.. NOW!
(totally kidding.. hahahaha)

xoxoxoxo

p.s. im wearing super cool socks today.