slowtostanding

REASONS I THOUGHT THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST KINDA SUCKED.

disclaimer: i am a Christian. i was excited and very much looking forward to seeing this controversial film. i admire mel gibson for doing this movie and being brave enough to put all the burden on himself financially. after seeing it, i would say the movie was OKAY. it wasn't BAD, but it definitely wasn't amazing.. but i DO think that everyone should still see it. because i feel like it's important for people to see... NOW, on to the criticisms.

1.) okay, look. i know jesus suffered. A LOT. he went through one of the most painful deaths imaginable. i couldn't even comprehend what that must feel like. i realize that mel gibson's goal was to show us just how horrific and terrible it was for jesus. i realize that. however, after an HOUR of nothing but PURE TORTURE, i felt like the point of the whole thing started to blur. it went from shocking to.. over the top. now, i feel like they could have shown HALF of the horrible shit and still get the point across loud and clear that jesus suffered an awful death. i would have liked to see 30 more minutes devoted to more of the story leading up to him in the garden, where the movie begins. give us time to get involved in the story before we dive right into "jesus torturefest: jerusalem".

2.) alright, another torture problem (since that was the whole movie).. i realize that jesus was tortured horribly and then was forced to walk all the way to the hill carrying the cross. and i also realize that, because it was God's will, he could have easily been supernaturally kept alive much longer than he should have to complete his task, which was to die on the cross. however, in this movie, jesus was beaten within an inch of his life. after that kind of beating, you could not talk or even stand up, let alone walk, let alone walk a great distance, let alone walk a great distance up a hill, let alone carry a fucking HUGE ASS CROSS the whole way. so what i'm saying is, i believe jesus did this, but i imagine he was in SLIGHTLY better shape to carry the cross. maybe like beeten within 3-4 inches of his life. it just made it like... again, too over the top. and hey romans, do you really think whipping the walking corpse the whole way is really gonna make him walk ANY FASTER? see, i feel like if jesus was in really that bad of shape, everyone would just be kinda like... well, let's just get him up the hill, because i dont think this dude is gonna make it. so yeah, mel, we could have had jesus just a LITTLE less beaten up.. maybe not have his RIB CAGE COMING OUT OF HIS CHEST.

3.) mel. look, man. i know maybe you're into demons and satan and shit, but you totally killed me with that. this was the final blow in me not really liking the movie. here you have this effeminate young Emperor Palpatine (star wars reference for you non-dorks) standing around meddling in everything and watching. now, i would have been cool with satan just kinda observing stuff.. but look, it's not like the bible was ever like "and jesus did carry the cross, and looked to the left and saw satan standing there, and satan did that smirky face, but jesus kept walking." and then the scene where he was carrying some weird fucking demon baby.. did we NEED THAT? and then the demon kids chasing Judas? i mean, talk about fucking artistic liberty! yeah, some evil shit went down, but inserting all this satan in the damn movie was just over the top and weird. i feel like it was like it was just so fundamentalist christians could then say to themselves "see, satan really is everywhere.." and then to top it all off.. the most poignant and amazing scene of the whole film.. as Jesus dies on the cross and utters his last words.. we then cut to ......

SATAN! IN HELL! EMPTY! and he's like "nooooooOOOOOO!!!!!!!!11!1!!111 i'll get you jesusssss!! if it's the LAAST THING I DOOOOOO!!! BLAARRRGGHHH"

gay. gay. gay.

4.) terrible CGI effects.. see massive raindrop, see dove flying above the trial.


so okay, i came away with some really big annoyances about this film. i hope no one gets offended, but i just think they could have made a much better film by focusing less on "LOOK HOW SHOCKING THIS WAS!!!!" and more on "This man suffered a horrible death, but look at the good that came of it.. or this is WHY". this could have been accomplished with more pre-story.. or maybe more after-story. i mean, we all know what happens.. but i just think it could have made for a better movie if they had expanded it a little bit and cut out a little more of jesus getting the everloving shit beat out of him.

and how come ancient roman groups aren't protesting the film? those guys are dicks.

anyway, love to hear your thoughts.

sorry for the super-long entry. i needed to vent.