Was in VT this weekend. My mom's probably moving to a new place soon - much better than her current situation. I might be giving her my car - the insurance is killing me, and since I'm not driving to work anymore I don't really need it. There's a bus I can take to VT, and I don't really drive anywhere else. It means I won't be able to go to the rock gym in Woburn, but there's a much closer one I can probable take a bus to. What else do I need a car for?
In other news, I went on a date last week. *gasp* Yeah, yeah. It's been a while. We just met for tea in Harvard^2. He's nice, British, MIT grad student in engineering. Eh. No sparks, I guess. Haven't had any sparks for a while..... He's called me (left a voicemail) and e-mailed me a few times since the date. I told him we should do something after I got back from VT. Well, I'm back. Now what? More tea? How do I let him know I just wanna be friends? See, this is why I don't date. It's too damn difficult.
Introspection:
It seems like the only people who look at me on the street are the homeless/mentally unstable. Along with animals (especially dogs), the mentally unstable are supposed to be good at sensing insanity in others, along with evil and the paranormal. Even when I'm dressed perfectly normal, no weird hats or long coats or spikes or big boots, they look. I can feel them watching me as I walk past. Not in a reproachful way because I didn't give them any money, but as if they KNOW something about me, or recognize something in me. I experience self-doubt daily as I walk through Central Square on my way to work - what if I belong among the crazies on the benches rather than in a cubicle in a pharma company? What if I end up there? What if I'm just as fucked up as the rest of my family, and I've just been fooling myself and everyone else for the past 21 years? WHAT IF THEY'RE RIGHT? Will I slip through the cracks one day and not be able to find my way back?
Perhaps I just need to get a goddamn life.
In other news, I went on a date last week. *gasp* Yeah, yeah. It's been a while. We just met for tea in Harvard^2. He's nice, British, MIT grad student in engineering. Eh. No sparks, I guess. Haven't had any sparks for a while..... He's called me (left a voicemail) and e-mailed me a few times since the date. I told him we should do something after I got back from VT. Well, I'm back. Now what? More tea? How do I let him know I just wanna be friends? See, this is why I don't date. It's too damn difficult.
Introspection:
It seems like the only people who look at me on the street are the homeless/mentally unstable. Along with animals (especially dogs), the mentally unstable are supposed to be good at sensing insanity in others, along with evil and the paranormal. Even when I'm dressed perfectly normal, no weird hats or long coats or spikes or big boots, they look. I can feel them watching me as I walk past. Not in a reproachful way because I didn't give them any money, but as if they KNOW something about me, or recognize something in me. I experience self-doubt daily as I walk through Central Square on my way to work - what if I belong among the crazies on the benches rather than in a cubicle in a pharma company? What if I end up there? What if I'm just as fucked up as the rest of my family, and I've just been fooling myself and everyone else for the past 21 years? WHAT IF THEY'RE RIGHT? Will I slip through the cracks one day and not be able to find my way back?
Perhaps I just need to get a goddamn life.
gosh, that sounds awfully canned.
i like the safety i have in being more fucked up than the rest of my family... there is as much safety in solitude as there is in numbers ::giggle:: at least i think so.
you never know, maybe the homeless in Cambridge belong to some vast underground kingdom and have their own hierarchy and just seem crazy? (wow... sorry... Neil reference...)
but on a more genuine and considerate note. There are friends abound on this site, I being one. So lean on me for insight if ever you desire.
[Edited on Oct 25, 2005 10:32AM]
Last i checked, the DDolls are not sold out.
the avalon is really nice, as long as you don't mind standing around for hours. i saw The Mars Volta there also... i was able to get right up front for BLS last night, but was then trampled by the throngs of moshing meanies. so i had to vacate my nice spot. (gr.)
other than that my next show is Nine Inch Nails on November 8...