sleepallday

its funny how hard i try not to be myself. obviously i am me, and no one else. unique. yes, but i am constantly trying to re-invent every idea ive ever had. this comes into play in every aspect of my life. recently i did a video project that was supposed to be my philosophy on design. most everyone in my class had a bitch of a time. some complained how its impossible others decided to concentrate on a simple part of their philosophy. i ended up doing something so ambiguous and meaningful at the same time that half the people in my class didnt understand it at all. and that was the goal. i didnt want a message to hit anyone on the head. i wanted people to see it and just think. not even know what they were thinking about. just let go. get rid of everything in their mind. it was hard to explain what it was about. because it was about everything and nothing. i guess maybe im getting too deep here. so ill get back to the topic. this was just a second in my life when i made this. it had alot to do with how i was feeling that day i did it. and now that i look at it. i think. i could have done something completely different given the mood im in. it is sort of amazing how my design is influenced so much by the state im in. i constantly re-invent everything. i used to think that people changed over time. but i realize now i change everyday. in small but major ways. its a constant battle of what i know and what i will know. its sort of scary at times. makes me wonder who i was 2 years ago. do i even know? probably not. i guess there really isnt a point to this journal entry other than me just describing how i feel right now at 430 am.

sooo back to the ambiguous meanings. lost in translation. that movie is amazing. i watched it in parts. and for some reason i was just drawn back into it so many times. maybe i read into it to much but to me it was exactly what my movie project was about. something that just makes you think. yes it had a romantic element. and thats probably why i enjoyed it even more so. i am a hopeless romantic myself. the movie is magical. sort of funny that i rewinded the last scene mulitple times to try and find out exactly what bill whispered into her ear. after a couple times i realized it didnt matter. and i think that was the entire point. it made you think of what he said. if you actually knew it probably wouldnt have as much of an impact. just like songs that mean more when you can personally relate.

so maybe ill stop writting. this is one hell of an entry. hehe. more later.