What the hell?!
I'm seriously not going to go into the circumstances which caused me to join this site. It would make me seem insane.
Which I am. Totally nutz.
Another thing that is nutz is Sprite. I don't really like soda, or carbonated drinks in general. But I happen to enjoy the taste of Sprite. There was a 2-liter bottle of Sprite left in the kitchen from a recent party that my roommate threw, and I decided to partake in a little bit of it. After 3 sips, I was burping like a madwoman. Bye-bye delicious sugary lemony-limey flavor and hello balsamic dressing and onions.
Maybe I'm just in a bad mood because my ovaries are falling out, which also means that I haven't had sex in a month because the last time I had sex was the day before my period last month. That makes me mad. Not because I want sex that much, but because I had to end a perfectly ennjoyable situation because the guy was a Flaky McFlakerson. I'm so done with men.
CONFUSING, NO?!
Well, thank jeebus that each time I walk to BART I meet several available bachelors. It's good to know I'm wanted. I encountered and especially hot fella this afternoon as I trudged through the urban jungle. I was walking along, talking to my mother on the phone (yes, I talk to her everyday. yes, that is pathetic. carry on) when a tall, dark, handsome man approached me. He smelled of the finest cologne (read: piss and booze) and was wearing a suit made of fine italian fabric (read: dirty khakis and a texas t-shirt).
"Hey, beautiful," he whispered softly in my ear. (read: shouted at me from 5 feet away)
Me: Eeeeeeee! *walks faster*
"You got a fine ass baby! FINE ASS!"
My mom: WHAT THE HELL?! Are you gonna get raped?!
"Come back here baby! Come on beautiful I'll show you a good time!"
My mom: I NEED TO BUY YOU A TASER!
Me: But momma, he loves me!
Parents just don't understand true love, you know. I'm sure that man could have made me very happy. If I were sad, he could wipe my tears with a dirty sock he found in the dumpster that we sleep in.
Oh, how I love Oakland.
I'm seriously not going to go into the circumstances which caused me to join this site. It would make me seem insane.
Which I am. Totally nutz.
Another thing that is nutz is Sprite. I don't really like soda, or carbonated drinks in general. But I happen to enjoy the taste of Sprite. There was a 2-liter bottle of Sprite left in the kitchen from a recent party that my roommate threw, and I decided to partake in a little bit of it. After 3 sips, I was burping like a madwoman. Bye-bye delicious sugary lemony-limey flavor and hello balsamic dressing and onions.
Maybe I'm just in a bad mood because my ovaries are falling out, which also means that I haven't had sex in a month because the last time I had sex was the day before my period last month. That makes me mad. Not because I want sex that much, but because I had to end a perfectly ennjoyable situation because the guy was a Flaky McFlakerson. I'm so done with men.
CONFUSING, NO?!
Well, thank jeebus that each time I walk to BART I meet several available bachelors. It's good to know I'm wanted. I encountered and especially hot fella this afternoon as I trudged through the urban jungle. I was walking along, talking to my mother on the phone (yes, I talk to her everyday. yes, that is pathetic. carry on) when a tall, dark, handsome man approached me. He smelled of the finest cologne (read: piss and booze) and was wearing a suit made of fine italian fabric (read: dirty khakis and a texas t-shirt).
"Hey, beautiful," he whispered softly in my ear. (read: shouted at me from 5 feet away)
Me: Eeeeeeee! *walks faster*
"You got a fine ass baby! FINE ASS!"
My mom: WHAT THE HELL?! Are you gonna get raped?!
"Come back here baby! Come on beautiful I'll show you a good time!"
My mom: I NEED TO BUY YOU A TASER!
Me: But momma, he loves me!
Parents just don't understand true love, you know. I'm sure that man could have made me very happy. If I were sad, he could wipe my tears with a dirty sock he found in the dumpster that we sleep in.
Oh, how I love Oakland.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
tafkasp:
Giggity, giggity! 
onemorepanic:
We got another bunglefever kid on here?