This might be one of the funniest things I've ever seen: StuffWhitePeopleLike.com
This guy compiled a list and published all of the funniest ones. So funny and so TRUE! Here are a few of my favorites:
#19 Traveling
White person travelling can be broken into two categories - First World and Third World.
First world is Europe and Japan, and man, this travel is not only beloved but absolutely essential in their development as white people.
Every white person takes at least one trip to Europe between the ages of 17-29. During this time they are likely to wear a back pack, stay at a hostel, meet someone from Ireland/Sweden/Italy with whom they have a memorable experience, get drunk, see some old churches and ride a train.
What's amazing is that all white people have pretty much the same experience, but all of them believe theirs to be the first of its kind. So much so that they return to North America with ideas of writing novels and screenplays about their experience.
Upon returning home, they will also find an affinity for a particular beer or liquor from a country they visited. They use this as an excuse to mention their travels when at a bar. "Oh, I'll have a Czechznlishiyush Pilsner. You see, that was my favorite beer when I was travelling through Slovenia and the Czech republic."
The second type of white person travel is Third World. This is when they venture to Thailand, Africa or South America. Some do it so that they can one up the white people who only go to Europe.
But like with Europe, white people like to believe they are the first white people to make this trip. As such, they should be recognized as special and important individuals.
That's right, by going to a country, riding around on a bus or train, staying at a hotel or hostel and eating - they are doing something important for the world.
If a white person shows up in your country, you can make them feel fantastic by saying how you've never seen a white person before, and that you are amazed by their iPod - "a device that plays many songs? impossible!"
They might give it to you, then you can sell it for profit. Repeat as necessary.
#24 Wine
There are a lot of cultures that like wine, but the way white people like wine is on a whole different level.
Within white culture, you are expected to know what a good wine is, what wine is not acceptable to like, and the names of prominent wine growing regions.
But because there are thousands of wineries, thousands of wines, and a limited time to try them or learn about it, often times, white people need to fake knowledge. If they are exposed as not being knowledgeable, they will look like fools and their peers will consistently make jokes about them liking Boone's Farm, Thunderbird, Steeler, or Lakeport. This humiliation can crush a white person for years.
When a white person offers you wine, you take a small sip and then say "ooh, that's nice. What country is it from?" then they will say the name of the country and you say "I love wines from that country, I would love to get a villa in the wine region there." White people will nod in agreement as they all want to have a second home in a wine region like Napa, Tuscany or Santa Barbara.
It is also a good idea to say that your favorite wine is from a small winery called [make up name like 'Spotswood,' 'Red Duck,' Random Spanish name] in [Australia, Argentina, France, California, or Chile] that is hard to get in whatever country you are in. White people will be impressed that they have not heard of this wine and consider you to be a very smart person. They will also make a note to try to find that wine, and when they can't find it, your status will rise even higher.
Wines that are acceptable: Red, White (less so)
Wines that are unacceptable (unless to be consumed in an ironic fashion): White Zinfandel, wine in a box, Rose, Fortified Wine, Arbor Mist, Chinese Cooking Wine.
This guy compiled a list and published all of the funniest ones. So funny and so TRUE! Here are a few of my favorites:
#19 Traveling
White person travelling can be broken into two categories - First World and Third World.
First world is Europe and Japan, and man, this travel is not only beloved but absolutely essential in their development as white people.
Every white person takes at least one trip to Europe between the ages of 17-29. During this time they are likely to wear a back pack, stay at a hostel, meet someone from Ireland/Sweden/Italy with whom they have a memorable experience, get drunk, see some old churches and ride a train.
What's amazing is that all white people have pretty much the same experience, but all of them believe theirs to be the first of its kind. So much so that they return to North America with ideas of writing novels and screenplays about their experience.
Upon returning home, they will also find an affinity for a particular beer or liquor from a country they visited. They use this as an excuse to mention their travels when at a bar. "Oh, I'll have a Czechznlishiyush Pilsner. You see, that was my favorite beer when I was travelling through Slovenia and the Czech republic."
The second type of white person travel is Third World. This is when they venture to Thailand, Africa or South America. Some do it so that they can one up the white people who only go to Europe.
But like with Europe, white people like to believe they are the first white people to make this trip. As such, they should be recognized as special and important individuals.
That's right, by going to a country, riding around on a bus or train, staying at a hotel or hostel and eating - they are doing something important for the world.
If a white person shows up in your country, you can make them feel fantastic by saying how you've never seen a white person before, and that you are amazed by their iPod - "a device that plays many songs? impossible!"
They might give it to you, then you can sell it for profit. Repeat as necessary.
#24 Wine
There are a lot of cultures that like wine, but the way white people like wine is on a whole different level.
Within white culture, you are expected to know what a good wine is, what wine is not acceptable to like, and the names of prominent wine growing regions.
But because there are thousands of wineries, thousands of wines, and a limited time to try them or learn about it, often times, white people need to fake knowledge. If they are exposed as not being knowledgeable, they will look like fools and their peers will consistently make jokes about them liking Boone's Farm, Thunderbird, Steeler, or Lakeport. This humiliation can crush a white person for years.
When a white person offers you wine, you take a small sip and then say "ooh, that's nice. What country is it from?" then they will say the name of the country and you say "I love wines from that country, I would love to get a villa in the wine region there." White people will nod in agreement as they all want to have a second home in a wine region like Napa, Tuscany or Santa Barbara.
It is also a good idea to say that your favorite wine is from a small winery called [make up name like 'Spotswood,' 'Red Duck,' Random Spanish name] in [Australia, Argentina, France, California, or Chile] that is hard to get in whatever country you are in. White people will be impressed that they have not heard of this wine and consider you to be a very smart person. They will also make a note to try to find that wine, and when they can't find it, your status will rise even higher.
Wines that are acceptable: Red, White (less so)
Wines that are unacceptable (unless to be consumed in an ironic fashion): White Zinfandel, wine in a box, Rose, Fortified Wine, Arbor Mist, Chinese Cooking Wine.
I am just enjoying a very interesting white " Muskat Ololhao" from hungary/Gyr