Wednesday May 07, 2008

0
its official ive given up on the girl of my dreams, and on trying to find that special someone....i mean if i didn't have a great friend to keep me sane and balanced id probaly do something dangerous or destructive...if not to someone else, to myself...so far the things ive done are bad enough...but i regret being the jerk ive been in years past...i know i may be "young" physicaly but ive gone through more shit than most ppl will in a life time...i mean ive had a girlfriend die. plenty of my family died when i was young....and my moms starting to seem on her last leg these days...my health is detierating (i dont think i spelled that right)im always coughing and never realy sick... and well my eyes have seen more than most should and my hearts felt more pain than anyone within my inner circle...honestly i dont know how ive kept it together this long....i guess i have some soul searching to do....much love to those who care



~zach~
realistic67:
Constant coughing issue at your age is quite serious. Do you smoke?
morganalefay:
Oh sweetness, my heart goes out to you smile I completely acknowledge, and validate what you have been through. Though I can say, having been to hell and back (I was sexually abused by my step dad, untill I was 14) I know that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I am now paying a lot of money to work through my trauma, and am noticing a huge difference. I used to be really down on myself and my future. I realized that my belief about myself and everything else was holding me back from being happy. There is a book I can recomend, "Mind over Mood". It is mostly to help you realize that, what you think makes a difference in how you live your life. (I hope I'm not being too preachy)

You sound just like my boyfriend, a few months before we got together. He had given up on any chance of meeting someone that he really connected with. It happens. We have been together for 1year and 1/2 now, and are madly in love. He has helped me through A LOT. I'm not trying to dismiss the fact that you have had a girlfriend die, though I guess I want you know you have support, and to keep positive thinking.
smile

p.s will you be my friend?

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