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lol
Thats wat life is like right now. Things are getting easier i guess, i mean with the not having joey around anymore. I've become more independent, i guess. Its like everyday that passes doing things on my own becomes easier & easier but my hearts desire to see him grows greater & greater
I cut alot of people out of my life, people that would go huntin for druggz or just people that were downers, i thought it'd be good for me.... but it seems like its made me dive deeper into my drinking problem.. and i think im drowning! i know i have a problem but im still not ready to get help. I dont know why i liek doing it i cant even explain... i would say that it makes me forget the emotional pain i am in & helps me find a place of content that i cant find when im sober but i have no sober feelings to compare to, literally every second of everyday i probably couldn't blow under the legal limit. i would say to forget about joey but i think about him still. Its just stupid. I think maybe im afraid... it already hurts so bad... and im scared that once im sober, my heart's loss will truely sink in.
I have, however, decided to STOP looking for a new boyfriends. its just not worth it. i'm too young to care. I DONT WANNA BE IN LOVE.... i just love sex lol, but fuck finding a boyfriend i'm lookin for a good no strings attatched fuck buddy now... i thought i found one but he tried to attatched a few strings & i cut them! he didnt like that so much lol. oh well TOO YOUNG TO CARE.
Furthermore school is a disaster, the chaos that is the over-crowding is actually making me second guess my childhood dream of becoming a cosmetologist. Its just so stressful there with over 60 salon ready students & only 26 DECENT stations & 3available instructors. For 18grand... i expected alot more from my school! I just get so aggravated there!
I haven't yet decided if i am going to stay here in vegas or move back to so cal yet... but i will most definatly finish school here, so i have until june to decide. but the pros & cons of vegas:cali is another blog for another day.
Meh anyway i've been wanting to do another set... i dropped 17pounds! and i have my long hair back! <
i added sum more pix in my photos album & la di da di we'z lieks to partyyy <3
lol
Thats wat life is like right now. Things are getting easier i guess, i mean with the not having joey around anymore. I've become more independent, i guess. Its like everyday that passes doing things on my own becomes easier & easier but my hearts desire to see him grows greater & greater
I cut alot of people out of my life, people that would go huntin for druggz or just people that were downers, i thought it'd be good for me.... but it seems like its made me dive deeper into my drinking problem.. and i think im drowning! i know i have a problem but im still not ready to get help. I dont know why i liek doing it i cant even explain... i would say that it makes me forget the emotional pain i am in & helps me find a place of content that i cant find when im sober but i have no sober feelings to compare to, literally every second of everyday i probably couldn't blow under the legal limit. i would say to forget about joey but i think about him still. Its just stupid. I think maybe im afraid... it already hurts so bad... and im scared that once im sober, my heart's loss will truely sink in.I have, however, decided to STOP looking for a new boyfriends. its just not worth it. i'm too young to care. I DONT WANNA BE IN LOVE.... i just love sex lol, but fuck finding a boyfriend i'm lookin for a good no strings attatched fuck buddy now... i thought i found one but he tried to attatched a few strings & i cut them! he didnt like that so much lol. oh well TOO YOUNG TO CARE.
Furthermore school is a disaster, the chaos that is the over-crowding is actually making me second guess my childhood dream of becoming a cosmetologist. Its just so stressful there with over 60 salon ready students & only 26 DECENT stations & 3available instructors. For 18grand... i expected alot more from my school! I just get so aggravated there!
I haven't yet decided if i am going to stay here in vegas or move back to so cal yet... but i will most definatly finish school here, so i have until june to decide. but the pros & cons of vegas:cali is another blog for another day.
Meh anyway i've been wanting to do another set... i dropped 17pounds! and i have my long hair back! <
i added sum more pix in my photos album & la di da di we'z lieks to partyyy <3
haven't talked to you in a while
sounds like things have been up and down
can't wait to see a new set