EMO BULLSHIT!!!
yeah i'm feeling really down. i'm hoping the vast majority of it is hormonal, i normally don't lose it at the drop of a hat the way i have been this last few days. with me, when it rains it fucking pours
my only source of income at the moment is now 3 days late. i am still unsure if i will be getting it at all after the last payment. i spoke with the other party and he says other than holiday and vacation and the possibility of the mail getting out late there is no reason i shouldn't be getting my money. we will see. i have been calling every business day since friday and still nothing, and i have an electric bill due and will be delinquent in less than a week and less than $5 to my name right now. yay
my beautiful wonderful bitch of a truck now has a death rattle. i'm really REALLY hoping i can baby it and limp it out until tax time so i can put some spiffy high performance parts in my other engine and drop it in. with my luck, she'll die before then
i am seriously considering the idea of moving back to the right side of the country. my really good friend wants to move to southern oregon and that's totally only a day's drive from all my friends out in cali. my ex also wants to get the fuck out of this god awful landlocked state so bonus points for me as i won't have to worry about fighting the whole custody/visitation battle again. of course if i do this my parents will more or less disown me for taking their only grandchild away from them. did i mention they're the ones who couldn't leave me behind when they came to this horrible place to begin with?
my parents once again don't fail to disappoint. they have 5 running licensed and insured vehicles between the two of them and they refuse to let me borrow one while i work on mine. their neighbor is a mechanic and will happily rebuild my carburetor (i have a spare AND PARTS!!) for $15 or $20 and my dad will not spot me the money to get my truck running BETTER... of course this was before it decided to start rattling on me, i'm hoping an oil change will stop that... i've gotten to the point where i won't ask them for help anymore because in the offhand chance they will, it always comes with strings attached. they know my financial situation and yet the first words out of their mouths is "when are you going to pay us back for <insert random past act of 'help'>?"
i was actually doing ok, the stress wasn't getting to me until all of this came about, so once again i have no eyebrows or lashes. none. my eyes are completely bald. they were starting to come back, but NOOOOOooooooo... i swear i will never be without pencils. maybe i'll take my tax money and get some permanent makeup... of course i know part of being a good model is showing versatility and my lack of brows is nothing if not versatile, you can draw them on to suit the makeup and hair color. it just gets old having to do it every day. at least i'm finally getting good at getting them even
yeah i'm feeling really down. i'm hoping the vast majority of it is hormonal, i normally don't lose it at the drop of a hat the way i have been this last few days. with me, when it rains it fucking pours
my only source of income at the moment is now 3 days late. i am still unsure if i will be getting it at all after the last payment. i spoke with the other party and he says other than holiday and vacation and the possibility of the mail getting out late there is no reason i shouldn't be getting my money. we will see. i have been calling every business day since friday and still nothing, and i have an electric bill due and will be delinquent in less than a week and less than $5 to my name right now. yay
my beautiful wonderful bitch of a truck now has a death rattle. i'm really REALLY hoping i can baby it and limp it out until tax time so i can put some spiffy high performance parts in my other engine and drop it in. with my luck, she'll die before then

i am seriously considering the idea of moving back to the right side of the country. my really good friend wants to move to southern oregon and that's totally only a day's drive from all my friends out in cali. my ex also wants to get the fuck out of this god awful landlocked state so bonus points for me as i won't have to worry about fighting the whole custody/visitation battle again. of course if i do this my parents will more or less disown me for taking their only grandchild away from them. did i mention they're the ones who couldn't leave me behind when they came to this horrible place to begin with?
my parents once again don't fail to disappoint. they have 5 running licensed and insured vehicles between the two of them and they refuse to let me borrow one while i work on mine. their neighbor is a mechanic and will happily rebuild my carburetor (i have a spare AND PARTS!!) for $15 or $20 and my dad will not spot me the money to get my truck running BETTER... of course this was before it decided to start rattling on me, i'm hoping an oil change will stop that... i've gotten to the point where i won't ask them for help anymore because in the offhand chance they will, it always comes with strings attached. they know my financial situation and yet the first words out of their mouths is "when are you going to pay us back for <insert random past act of 'help'>?"
i was actually doing ok, the stress wasn't getting to me until all of this came about, so once again i have no eyebrows or lashes. none. my eyes are completely bald. they were starting to come back, but NOOOOOooooooo... i swear i will never be without pencils. maybe i'll take my tax money and get some permanent makeup... of course i know part of being a good model is showing versatility and my lack of brows is nothing if not versatile, you can draw them on to suit the makeup and hair color. it just gets old having to do it every day. at least i'm finally getting good at getting them even