skullynova

I know that eventually I have to find a better way to fuel myself. I usually wake up pretty happy and hope I suppose. I have to be torn apart and rearranged by a woman who says she loves me. Using our only child as pawn in a game of " you get to see him...Not!!!" I pay her phone, I do as I am told to always have to end up being in drama she created from nothing. I don't bother doing anything she does to me. I don't go through her phone, I don't go through her facebook, I just simply don't even want to know. I don't want to see anything that will make me upset. All I really wanted was to make our family happy. It seems like this generation, era, or what ever it is that's in nowadays is just not going to let anything happen. I needed to speak to her tonight. I would go see her but she becomes this abusive machine trapping me in her house of hatred to blame me at the end it was my fault it all ended that way. I just need my son and in spite of recent events I can't hold up with my candle burning at both ends. I know that there is many obstacles in life. When you're just about getting it, it comes out to make you realize there is something bigger. I do not want to tear this lifeline from myself, I won't survive the wreckage from the explosion. All I am left with on these insomniac nights is music and guitars. My fingers are bleeding from how much I play and don't want to stop. No matter how I face the situations I get destroyed. I know i'll come out on top so I suppose i'll let go until I fall to start the journey crawl back on top.