skullynova

I am actually not too angry, I still have my heads stuck in the clouds for many reasons. I am happy that my grades didnt even go down from the tests I bombed for my classes but it still isnt good. I need to separate my personal life from everything I am doing everything to hold together. I still dont have much respect for anyone but then again no one respects me. So its an either or type of thing. I am not as obnoxious as I seem or claim to be sometimes. All I think of is music, its all I ever wanted to do. Its better than any drug I have ever done, I cant really speak for drugs now though. There is too much crap out there now yet all I want is bliss from music I make. Its not about the fame, well yes it is a little bit about it. I dont care for the money but it does help to pay the bills. I wont and never have been uptight when I see someone struggling. I always love to help, you never know when those people will surpass you and mention you as one of their mentors. For some reason I am stuck in a relationship limbo, I do love the woman I am with yet I our relationship halted months ago. Its just impossible to communicate with her and I feel thats how itll stay. I want to move forward with our lives but it feels like I have dead weight. If decide everything by myself by the time she puts input I may be gone doing my own things hopefully. I would just hate to leave her behind. All in all the way shell see it and blame me for how everything came out. I dont harbor hatred, I just feel that my personal affects many decisions I would want to make in order to actually be happy. Being in a state of darkness all the time just feels so worn out. Also!!! I fucking love how the new Avenged Sevenfold album came out. If it wasnt for their music, I wouldnt be so fueled on new material. I know many people hate the album but its been since I was fifteen since I listen to a whole album and decided I loved the entire album. Fuck everybody who says it sucks. At least they play what they love and everybody around the worlds knows who they are. I have many ideas I want to act on and I must act on them before they fade. Soon hopefully I can show some material I have been working on. If anything I hope I can do it all in one try because I will show anything but perfection unless I did it too many times. Then I wont care, which I would but I would be comfortable with the errors. Either way no one knows the difference, if you make it seem like you meant to do that. Nobody will be the wiser. To sum it all up, I actually feel at peace right now. Its not the best of times but I have time to work on it. I hope you all have a great weekend!!

Sincerely,
Skully Nova