I have learned something new over the past couple of months...
Friendship is fickle and fleeting. My grandparents have been right all along it seems, you will go your through whole life and, in the end, only have one or two friends to show for all of your heartache and troubles.
I only mention this because of some drama that took place about a year ago. One of my best friends introduced me to a girl she had met at work. She hadn't known her long but, she figured we'd get along. Well. we did. We would hang out and go places and talk about music and art. It was good, it was simple. Then, she started falling for me. I'll admit, I found her very attractive and she was always warm-hearted company. But, I wasn't ready for a relationship at that time. I wanted to be free to do what I wanted, when I wanted. Call it selfishness, stubbornness or anything else you care to, I just wasn't ready for her.
After some time... We went to bed together. Now, I wasn't entirely comfortable with the idea. And when she got up right away and left after we had finished, I felt even less so. But, I kept my head up and continued to talk to her thinking nothing had really changed. A mistake on my part that is apparent to me now. My close friend found out and became upset. I was confused by this because she had said that she never wanted to be involved in any match-making. At any rate, I became angry and told her I needed to be alone. During this alone time, the warm-hearted girl found out that my close friend found out. All hell broke lose. I had, all of a sudden, become the insensitive, sexist pig who should probably seek professional help. Just a month before this, I was the guy with the biggest heart in the world who would give anybody a chance and a hug...
As I said before, this was about a ago. I haven't heard from anybody I knew or loved, during that time, since.
Now, I am probably coming across as vague. And this isn't meant to be a sad story. My life has been good to me since then... I guess, it still sits in the back of my mind. Like the annoying kid in class. Blowing spit wads at the back of your neck and kicking your chair. I just need to decide if I'm going to knock his lights out there, in class. Or wait until the bell rings and meet him by the flagpole... Maybe, I should use shrug him off entirely.
He is, after all, a friend.
P.S. (Your comments, advice, opinions, etc. are welcome.)
P.P.S. ( I apologize, in advance, for any eye-rolling this may cause.)
Friendship is fickle and fleeting. My grandparents have been right all along it seems, you will go your through whole life and, in the end, only have one or two friends to show for all of your heartache and troubles.
I only mention this because of some drama that took place about a year ago. One of my best friends introduced me to a girl she had met at work. She hadn't known her long but, she figured we'd get along. Well. we did. We would hang out and go places and talk about music and art. It was good, it was simple. Then, she started falling for me. I'll admit, I found her very attractive and she was always warm-hearted company. But, I wasn't ready for a relationship at that time. I wanted to be free to do what I wanted, when I wanted. Call it selfishness, stubbornness or anything else you care to, I just wasn't ready for her.
After some time... We went to bed together. Now, I wasn't entirely comfortable with the idea. And when she got up right away and left after we had finished, I felt even less so. But, I kept my head up and continued to talk to her thinking nothing had really changed. A mistake on my part that is apparent to me now. My close friend found out and became upset. I was confused by this because she had said that she never wanted to be involved in any match-making. At any rate, I became angry and told her I needed to be alone. During this alone time, the warm-hearted girl found out that my close friend found out. All hell broke lose. I had, all of a sudden, become the insensitive, sexist pig who should probably seek professional help. Just a month before this, I was the guy with the biggest heart in the world who would give anybody a chance and a hug...
As I said before, this was about a ago. I haven't heard from anybody I knew or loved, during that time, since.
Now, I am probably coming across as vague. And this isn't meant to be a sad story. My life has been good to me since then... I guess, it still sits in the back of my mind. Like the annoying kid in class. Blowing spit wads at the back of your neck and kicking your chair. I just need to decide if I'm going to knock his lights out there, in class. Or wait until the bell rings and meet him by the flagpole... Maybe, I should use shrug him off entirely.
He is, after all, a friend.
P.S. (Your comments, advice, opinions, etc. are welcome.)
P.P.S. ( I apologize, in advance, for any eye-rolling this may cause.)