Its a brave new world. I am reinventing myself.
I have a new sense of urgency and a feeling of doing things for myself. Therapy went well today. Cried a lot but I feel okay. Everyone should live by this: If you dont want to, you dont have to. Basically saying, I dont have to, I dont want to therefore Im not going to. Or if I want to I will. I like that better. The hardest part of living, at least for me, is thinking that I am so far behind in life that its almost impossible to catch up and also not doing things because you think others want you to.
Its my life. Im going back to school. And the cool part is I dont know what I want to do with my life. But I want to go to school just because..I want to. That seems to be the moral here. No real agenda to add to that yet, but Im sure it will come. For now I am going to be content knowing that I dont have all the answers. And its okay. I am going to make decisions based solely on my desires. I am going to be selfish. And I am going to learn not to care so much about what everyone else thinks because ultimately, theyre not walking in my shoes.
As for the living arrangements, I have moved in to my parents carriage house. But I am heading to California (road trip) in a week or so to visit my sister until the beginning of November. I am turning 30 in October, so she is going to help me celebrate. I dont want to be alone for 30. Its a mile stone. Plus I need a change of scenery, and itll be fun hanging with her for Halloween.
As for work. Im tired of bars and drinkers who think they are on top of the world and can say and do whatever they please because they have liquid courage. Well you know what retard, I dont give a shit about your liquid courage. Say that to me when youre sober. Getting trashed is not impressive. And I dont want to be around it anymore.
And as for the dating world. Finished for now; going to concentrate on me and me alone. As I said, I am being selfish, and I need to grow. Its time for a new beginning. If my dog can live for the day, so can I. Ill be looking to him for guidance.
I have a new sense of urgency and a feeling of doing things for myself. Therapy went well today. Cried a lot but I feel okay. Everyone should live by this: If you dont want to, you dont have to. Basically saying, I dont have to, I dont want to therefore Im not going to. Or if I want to I will. I like that better. The hardest part of living, at least for me, is thinking that I am so far behind in life that its almost impossible to catch up and also not doing things because you think others want you to.
Its my life. Im going back to school. And the cool part is I dont know what I want to do with my life. But I want to go to school just because..I want to. That seems to be the moral here. No real agenda to add to that yet, but Im sure it will come. For now I am going to be content knowing that I dont have all the answers. And its okay. I am going to make decisions based solely on my desires. I am going to be selfish. And I am going to learn not to care so much about what everyone else thinks because ultimately, theyre not walking in my shoes.
As for the living arrangements, I have moved in to my parents carriage house. But I am heading to California (road trip) in a week or so to visit my sister until the beginning of November. I am turning 30 in October, so she is going to help me celebrate. I dont want to be alone for 30. Its a mile stone. Plus I need a change of scenery, and itll be fun hanging with her for Halloween.
As for work. Im tired of bars and drinkers who think they are on top of the world and can say and do whatever they please because they have liquid courage. Well you know what retard, I dont give a shit about your liquid courage. Say that to me when youre sober. Getting trashed is not impressive. And I dont want to be around it anymore.
And as for the dating world. Finished for now; going to concentrate on me and me alone. As I said, I am being selfish, and I need to grow. Its time for a new beginning. If my dog can live for the day, so can I. Ill be looking to him for guidance.
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