So i was gonna send this as an email explaining about me...well the best i personally can... these thoughts that bounce around... then i wondered if anyone else thought/felt them too.... or could explain them to me
"I dont look at life the same way most people do. And that is becuz that is who i am... I see life as a gift... a crazy ride meant to be lived to the fullest and enjoyed. I love to laugh...play... be silly... and love.... money and material possessions do not mean much to me.
I want to share that... laughter... hugs...kisses...smiles... i also want to share the hurts... the tears... the angry moments... cuz that makes us human... i love human imperfections... its makes us more interesting... for example my boy doesnt care much for his height (he finds it a flaw or an imperfection) but i love it... cuz we are both at the same level...we look each other right in the eyes... its soo awesome... "
that was as far as the email got (mildly edited for a larger audience) before i decided to just blog it and if it got read it did and if not.. who cares i got it out...
my thoughts continued::
yet despite how simple that all sounds i find more and more people spit on it and hate it... and hate me for it. i have my bad days... my depressed moments... days where i would love to say fuck it all... i just dont share them... perhaps that is where the balance is missing... i share the happy times... the smiles... but i just cant share my pain nor can i let it go... i meet people all the time who love all the laughter i share..and who i am.. even really cool guys that i should (in theory) be attracted to... but im not.... i want to give love and laughter to those who are sad...hurt.... unhappy... and im crushed when they are rejected..when i am rejected....even tho i shouldnt b cuz i should expect it by now.. . i set myself up for this..and i know this.... but WHY do i keep doing it....
there are a few people in my life right now that i want soo bad to make smile..from the inside... want to see them laugh...really laugh and b happy... happy from the inside and im just not doing it... and its soo hard to accept....
a penny for anyone's thoughts......
"I dont look at life the same way most people do. And that is becuz that is who i am... I see life as a gift... a crazy ride meant to be lived to the fullest and enjoyed. I love to laugh...play... be silly... and love.... money and material possessions do not mean much to me.
I want to share that... laughter... hugs...kisses...smiles... i also want to share the hurts... the tears... the angry moments... cuz that makes us human... i love human imperfections... its makes us more interesting... for example my boy doesnt care much for his height (he finds it a flaw or an imperfection) but i love it... cuz we are both at the same level...we look each other right in the eyes... its soo awesome... "
that was as far as the email got (mildly edited for a larger audience) before i decided to just blog it and if it got read it did and if not.. who cares i got it out...
my thoughts continued::
yet despite how simple that all sounds i find more and more people spit on it and hate it... and hate me for it. i have my bad days... my depressed moments... days where i would love to say fuck it all... i just dont share them... perhaps that is where the balance is missing... i share the happy times... the smiles... but i just cant share my pain nor can i let it go... i meet people all the time who love all the laughter i share..and who i am.. even really cool guys that i should (in theory) be attracted to... but im not.... i want to give love and laughter to those who are sad...hurt.... unhappy... and im crushed when they are rejected..when i am rejected....even tho i shouldnt b cuz i should expect it by now.. . i set myself up for this..and i know this.... but WHY do i keep doing it....
there are a few people in my life right now that i want soo bad to make smile..from the inside... want to see them laugh...really laugh and b happy... happy from the inside and im just not doing it... and its soo hard to accept....
a penny for anyone's thoughts......
I say just keep your head up and be who you feel you should be, if anyone tries to hold you back from that, they're more than likely just jealous.
and it doesn't sound like anything is wrong w/ you. you sound like decent human being.