skeeve

Ummm... hi everybody!
*hides*
Stop throwing rocks! I have an excuse I promise! And a good one too!
Well, ok, not a good one. A sucky one. But it's a true one and that's gotta count for something.

My "absence" explained:
In a word? Work. Work, work work, some more work, a little work, with work on the side, and everybody's old favorite, work. This job is slowly tearing me apart. Not because it's a bad job or anything like that. It's still the best job I've ever had. And even though my previous jobs weren't something you'd brag about that doesn't mean this job isn't great. It is. It's a really awesome job. There's just a metric fuck-ton of work to do. And it's never ending. And everybody wants their thing done NOW. And at the same time everybody recognizes that there's just too much work to do. So people say things like "Hey... the client's really on my ass about this. Do you have any idea when you might be able to get to it?" Which sounds really polite and nice in theory but once you've dealt with about twenty of them you almost long for somebody to yell at you. Even though it's not really your fault. So that, and ninjutsu have been taking up all my time lately. In fact I've been missing ninjutsu more than I'd like because of work. And as much as I love all of you guys and this site, ninjutsu has really become my life. And if I don't have time for that... well, I'm sorry. I even put food second to ninjutsu, so don't feel too bad m'kay?

But I know I'm not the only busy one. Plenty of you are working like 60 hour weeks or struggling with all sorts of things and you guys still have time to keep in touch with people here. Well, I'm an ass I guess. I don't really feel like one and I'm pretty sure most of you wouldn't say I am one or anything, but that's the only really logical explanation. To make up for it I'm going to give you all some insight into what my introspective mind has come up with on those nights where I don't have the energy to move or keep my eyes open but I still can't sleep because my brain won't shut up.

Actually... I won't do that... sorry. I can't really think of a way to make it interesting to anybody other than me. I suppose it's enough to say that I continue to learn more and more about myself every day. It's interesting, scary, funny, pathetic, awesome and pretty much any adjective you can think of all at the same time. Which contributes to my exhaustion I'm sure. It does eventually push me to sleep.

I don't like to think that I'm losing touch with people. If you feel like we haven't talked in a while, please, send me a message or a text or comment here or whatever you want to do. I honestly will probably respond. As busy as I am I can manage to reply to a message here or there. I'm just too busy to go seeking conversation myself. I know that's pretty selfish and sucky of me. I'm sorry. My buddy list is almost permanently minimized, I almost never have SG open in a tab. E-mail is pretty much the only thing I actually check on my own. And I do a lot more reading than writing there. I miss you guys. I just can't mess around on the boards or with peoples' blogs these days. I'm sorry.

Ok, and after all that, I'll leave you with a bit of introspection that some of you might find interesting. This is a tad "graphic" so if you're not interested you don't have to click the spoiler.

Now I'm going to listen to loud music and do a little practice. It's way too late, but I'm too amped to sleep just yet. And I've done enough thinking tonight.