So all things considered I had a pretty shitty day. 
I woke up later than I wanted to. I did not have a recurrence of my excellent dream of the prior night. Although I really shouldn't complain about dreams. I have one every night that makes me wake up smiling. And that's more than anybody can ask for. I decided after much hemming and hawing to go to IHOP for a breakfast at lunch time (not a brunch). Really IHOP is the shitty part of the day. Let me elaborate.
IHOP was crowded. Ok, fine, I guess people like to come clog their arteries with fat after cleansing their souls in church. Makes sense I suppose. My problem with the crowd is where IHOP chose to seat me. Allow me to show you a diagram I have drawn in MS-paint:
Now, allow me to describe the layout with the aid of this diagram.
The Exit is where the door that allows all the draft in is located. This door is also very loud. Now usually if you're sitting in Some Tables section, you have that nice 4 ft high wall there that actually does a marvelous job of blocking out the chill and the noise. Where I'm sitting you are not protected by this wall. The chill and the noise reaches you quite easily. You'll have to trust me on that.
The Cashier is where the very lazy matre d' casually ignores you until he decides you aren't going away. Then he takes your name. Some how "Adam, just 1" Became "Aaron, four people". I had to correct him three times. I suppose English isn't his first language though so I really can't hold that against him. What I can hold against him is his use of a microphone to tell you over loud speaker when your table is ready. If you look at the space in front of the Cashier you'll note it's not very big. That's because there isn't much space. And even speaking in a library voice you would be able to understand the matre d' very easily. But this microphone did a fantastic job of annoying me while I was eating.
Now, the crude Star I've drawn represents the child sitting at the table on the other side of the short wall from me. He was busy practicing morse code on wall and driving his little toy truck along it. (I wonder if his parents had thought to let him know that trucks don't actually adhere to walls very well. I almost did but I thought better of it.)
The Pentagon is the area where people go to not disturb the people that are dining. You know, if you had to take a phone call of if your baby had decided to start screaming for something. This is normally very considerate and I'm sure you'd appreciate it if you were sitting in the Some Tables, More Tables, or even the Even More Tables sections. However, as is, It simply brought the phone conversations and crying babies closer to me.
All of this would have been bearable if not for the Isosceles Triangle. The Isosceles Triangle is where the normally lazy matre d' decided he would do something. What he did was (after I had been seated mind you) set up some seats. So that the people who were waiting for a table would have a place to rest their feet and have the added entertainment of observing me eat. To their credit, most people would politely stair at the floor and pretend to be as equally embarrassed by the situation as I was. There were some people however that would stare hungrily. This was most distracting. Even worse was when the matre d' decided he needed a break from being lazy so he sat in one of those chairs and flirted briefly with the bus girl. I say flirting but really what he was doing was criticizing me for eating by myself. I guess he wasn't aware that I also spoke Spanish. I would have informed him, but I was having trouble keeping myself from laughing out loud at the absurdity of the whole situation.
For some reason I still can't fathom, I tipped 27%. (The meal was only $7.87 so I thought I'd make the check an even $10. I guess I can fathom the reason.)
Now you know why I'm smiling right now? Despite the extremely distasteful mid-day? I came to a realization. It's been in the back of my head for some time now, but today was what proved it to me.
I'm reading again.
Really now I've been reading since the year began. I used to read incessantly when I was younger but then in High School I realized I enjoyed video games and television and also that reading wasn't cool so I more or less dropped the habit. I picked it back up in January and I've been very happy that I did. But today was when it really hit me that it was back. Despite all that horrible atmosphere and service, I managed to make it through my meal in relative comfort. I chuckled to myself. I was only peripherally aware that I was in a hell hole. Do you have any idea how wonderful it feels to have someone have to physically shove you (like my waitress did) just to get your attention because you are so absorbed in a book? It's the best feeling I've had in a long time save one. But that's a story for another blog.
EDIT: I kinda just went through and took a few people off my friend's list. I doubt anyone will notice because I only took off people that I didn't recognize or never ever talk to anymore. If you find yourself missing and you're pissed, send me a PM.
DOUBLE EDIT:
Since everybody has asked, I was reading Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman.
My sincere apologies for leaving that critical plot piece out.
I woke up later than I wanted to. I did not have a recurrence of my excellent dream of the prior night. Although I really shouldn't complain about dreams. I have one every night that makes me wake up smiling. And that's more than anybody can ask for. I decided after much hemming and hawing to go to IHOP for a breakfast at lunch time (not a brunch). Really IHOP is the shitty part of the day. Let me elaborate.
IHOP was crowded. Ok, fine, I guess people like to come clog their arteries with fat after cleansing their souls in church. Makes sense I suppose. My problem with the crowd is where IHOP chose to seat me. Allow me to show you a diagram I have drawn in MS-paint:
Now, allow me to describe the layout with the aid of this diagram.
The Exit is where the door that allows all the draft in is located. This door is also very loud. Now usually if you're sitting in Some Tables section, you have that nice 4 ft high wall there that actually does a marvelous job of blocking out the chill and the noise. Where I'm sitting you are not protected by this wall. The chill and the noise reaches you quite easily. You'll have to trust me on that.
The Cashier is where the very lazy matre d' casually ignores you until he decides you aren't going away. Then he takes your name. Some how "Adam, just 1" Became "Aaron, four people". I had to correct him three times. I suppose English isn't his first language though so I really can't hold that against him. What I can hold against him is his use of a microphone to tell you over loud speaker when your table is ready. If you look at the space in front of the Cashier you'll note it's not very big. That's because there isn't much space. And even speaking in a library voice you would be able to understand the matre d' very easily. But this microphone did a fantastic job of annoying me while I was eating.
Now, the crude Star I've drawn represents the child sitting at the table on the other side of the short wall from me. He was busy practicing morse code on wall and driving his little toy truck along it. (I wonder if his parents had thought to let him know that trucks don't actually adhere to walls very well. I almost did but I thought better of it.)
The Pentagon is the area where people go to not disturb the people that are dining. You know, if you had to take a phone call of if your baby had decided to start screaming for something. This is normally very considerate and I'm sure you'd appreciate it if you were sitting in the Some Tables, More Tables, or even the Even More Tables sections. However, as is, It simply brought the phone conversations and crying babies closer to me.
All of this would have been bearable if not for the Isosceles Triangle. The Isosceles Triangle is where the normally lazy matre d' decided he would do something. What he did was (after I had been seated mind you) set up some seats. So that the people who were waiting for a table would have a place to rest their feet and have the added entertainment of observing me eat. To their credit, most people would politely stair at the floor and pretend to be as equally embarrassed by the situation as I was. There were some people however that would stare hungrily. This was most distracting. Even worse was when the matre d' decided he needed a break from being lazy so he sat in one of those chairs and flirted briefly with the bus girl. I say flirting but really what he was doing was criticizing me for eating by myself. I guess he wasn't aware that I also spoke Spanish. I would have informed him, but I was having trouble keeping myself from laughing out loud at the absurdity of the whole situation.
For some reason I still can't fathom, I tipped 27%. (The meal was only $7.87 so I thought I'd make the check an even $10. I guess I can fathom the reason.)
Now you know why I'm smiling right now? Despite the extremely distasteful mid-day? I came to a realization. It's been in the back of my head for some time now, but today was what proved it to me.
I'm reading again.
Really now I've been reading since the year began. I used to read incessantly when I was younger but then in High School I realized I enjoyed video games and television and also that reading wasn't cool so I more or less dropped the habit. I picked it back up in January and I've been very happy that I did. But today was when it really hit me that it was back. Despite all that horrible atmosphere and service, I managed to make it through my meal in relative comfort. I chuckled to myself. I was only peripherally aware that I was in a hell hole. Do you have any idea how wonderful it feels to have someone have to physically shove you (like my waitress did) just to get your attention because you are so absorbed in a book? It's the best feeling I've had in a long time save one. But that's a story for another blog.
EDIT: I kinda just went through and took a few people off my friend's list. I doubt anyone will notice because I only took off people that I didn't recognize or never ever talk to anymore. If you find yourself missing and you're pissed, send me a PM.
DOUBLE EDIT:
Since everybody has asked, I was reading Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman.
My sincere apologies for leaving that critical plot piece out.
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
I'm reading World War Z right now, because I'm a zombie geek
hahaha, I hate when people change my name!! when is a small mistake, like something I could see how they just couldn't pronounce it or something is not bad... but I've had people changing it completely, that, pisses me off...