I turn 25 in one month from today, and I can't help but look at where I am as to where I thought I would be. I guess I can't complain, I have a good job, an okay apartment, and great friends. I just always figured I would have went to school. Oddly enough, I always wanted to become a lawyer. Everyone has talents. Some people can make music that awakens the soul, others can create works of art with thier hands. There are those with extreme athletic ability. Me? I can talk. I know, it doesn't sound like much of a talent, but speaking is an artform in itself. It is one of the few things I miss from highschool, giving speeches or debating.
I always figured I would end up doing something where I could use my ability with words in my work. I run two machines. There is no creativity in my thought process anymore. I find myself not looking for the best way in which to say something, but the most simplistic. I miss having intellectual conversation everyday. I still get it from time to time, but only when I hang out with my friend Johnnie. He is married though, with child, so we don't hang out as much anymore.
My other firends tend to feel the need to discuss less...how can I put this...mind exercising topics, like with Dave, who tends to just want to talk about the latest pretty girl he saw, or Amanda who tends to talk alot about sex.
I miss conversations about the concept of the square root of negative four or the (un)justifiable effects of cloning. I miss conversations over the difference between adaptation and evoulution.
I also always figured I would be married by now, with children. That's kind of hard though when I have a hard time asking a girl out. I could never understand why. I'm not shy, I have no problem making an ass out of myself, and the fear of rejection isn't an issue. A prime example was this weekend.
There was a girl who looks just amazing. I wanted to ask her out last time I saw her, but I didn't. I wanted to ask her out this time, but I didnt. I don't know why I didn't. I wanted to. I wasn't afraid of her saying no. I wasn't afraid of looking dumb in front of people. I just didn't ask her. Is there something wrong with me?
I always figured I would end up doing something where I could use my ability with words in my work. I run two machines. There is no creativity in my thought process anymore. I find myself not looking for the best way in which to say something, but the most simplistic. I miss having intellectual conversation everyday. I still get it from time to time, but only when I hang out with my friend Johnnie. He is married though, with child, so we don't hang out as much anymore.
My other firends tend to feel the need to discuss less...how can I put this...mind exercising topics, like with Dave, who tends to just want to talk about the latest pretty girl he saw, or Amanda who tends to talk alot about sex.
I miss conversations about the concept of the square root of negative four or the (un)justifiable effects of cloning. I miss conversations over the difference between adaptation and evoulution.
I also always figured I would be married by now, with children. That's kind of hard though when I have a hard time asking a girl out. I could never understand why. I'm not shy, I have no problem making an ass out of myself, and the fear of rejection isn't an issue. A prime example was this weekend.
There was a girl who looks just amazing. I wanted to ask her out last time I saw her, but I didn't. I wanted to ask her out this time, but I didnt. I don't know why I didn't. I wanted to. I wasn't afraid of her saying no. I wasn't afraid of looking dumb in front of people. I just didn't ask her. Is there something wrong with me?
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
grayce:
happy b day kid. i turn 23 soon too. and im having one of those damn days.
southernbelle:
Happy birthday!!!!!!!