sk8tjunkie

well the ex boifriend walked in as soon as my good friend the one with the swallow tats in my pics kisses me. but,... my best friend likes him. they got drunk and slept together and then she ended up liking him. well the ex that ive been serious with came in on us,...im still having sex with him and talking to him...so hes real upset. i like evan but i cant be with him. i was about to tell him that i had to talk to laci before anything happened between us,... well the ex walked in and i had kissed him back because i was drunk and careless. just as i had all those thoughts.
am i a bad person???
i dont want to update on how ive been because all this shit going down is all i have to say so everyone that reads my journal will think im a horrible person. i feel like a horrible person but im not sure if i should feel this way,..i dunno

so anyway,..jay and i are working on things and im staying away from all the group.
i think its a good thing sort of because it gave jay a lil reality check,..but i didnt want to hurt him but hes been hurting me for so long sometimes i dont care.


today i lost myself
in a whirlwind of pain
the world feels empty
a lonely soul thats cutting through the wind
i need someone to erase this pain
bring me back to life
even tho the shiny metal isnt a good friend to me
it sets all my feelings free
it brings me reason to feel this anguish
the mirror stares at me with deceit
and the air grows thin
i can feel my heart beating out of my chest
all the memories that are held within
lifes journies are shadows of my past
im scared that nothing will ever last