sjofn_

To every people the land is given on condition. Perceived or not, there is a Covenant, beyond the constitution, beyond sovereign guarantee, beyond the nation's sweetest dreams of itself.
Leonard Cohen

My heart is like a hollowed out trunk from an old Oak tree. Once it stood so firm and strong , never bending to the whim of any man or beast. Now there are holes so deep I can't fill them up.. I don't think I can hide them.

This concerns me......

It also concerns me the fact that my mind is unraveling right before me. I feel it, can you feel yourself going insane ? Insane people don't think that they are insane... I know this but I've been threw a whirl wind of feelings I think I'm dizzy from it.

I'm breathless.......
How do you deal with pain that runs so deep and get your strength back? When a lover, a dear friend, or a mate, has betrayed you so deeply, and yet not care. If I'm mean to anyone I feel bad, I regret it. I know that I'm a different person.... and the world is made of different people. I know that my views and thoughts on how things should be are not the only way... I understand this.

All around my small world, I watch and hear how Sperm donor makes up with are friends, he has a great need to do this. Then I sit and I try to understand why it's so important to him. To Justify to explain to my two BFF's..... and I don't get that same respect.

He did this to me ! Not them to me! Why are they important, and me and his child is it. I'm not bad, I've been nothing but honest with him. He's so willing to search everyone out and talk to them . Not me.

How ?? who has these answers

My friends told me to let go of these feelings and be happy, how ???

I'm loveless and I'm not good enough, thank you Sperm donor for teaching me that