sixfooter

Ok; call Michael Westen, I've officially received my burn notice.

This week I was reminded of how badly it sucks to be overly into somebody. After four and a half months with this guy, he tells me he needs to start appreciating me more and we cuddle and sleep together and he goes to work the next day... sends me sweet texts all day and asks if he can come over... to which I reply "sure".... so he shows up with his birthday gift in tow (a nice waterproof digital camera...still in its box) and dumps me. The worst part, is that he couldn't give me a reason other than that we were "socially different' because I don't "need to be around people the way he needs it" and that "the parts of us that are great are really great, and the parts that are bad, are really bad". Yea. I don't do well with being turned down. He started gathering up his stuff in my place and I went to work helping him.. the worst part was when he laid his key down and closed the door-my dog just sat there staring at the door with his head cocked, as if to say "Hey...where'd he go?" Then he ran to the couch to peek at his car as he drove off-when it was gone, he settled onto the couch with a sullen look on his face. Even my dog felt dumped, lol.


So, I picked up the camera and a few things he'd left behind-including his birthday gifts to me (a knife and frying pan) and hopped in the car to drop them off at his house and return the camera. I put them on his door step and texted him that he had a package on his porch... and returned the camera. When I got home the memories and feelings stung me from every corner. (We've spent A LOT of time at my house) I couldn't think anything other than a strong urge to be surrounded by people I love. I packed my truck with my clean and dirty laundry baskets, the pet's stuff, my camera & computer, and my purse and started driving. I got into Fredericksburg around 1:30 am, where I stopped at a hotel for the night. I tried to sleep (thank you, xanex) and woke up at 6 in a cold sweat, shivering so hard my teeth were chattering... I had this nightmare that I'd been shot in the back, and that my mom was screaming because she could see my spine through my shirt. Symbolism maybe? Regardless-I left there around 7:30 am and drove until I hit my mom's house at about 8 her time. (10 mine) I had a wee bit of a marathon drive-which gave me plenty of time to think. I think it's interesting because it's doubtful I'd have actually made it here alive if I hadn't been so fueled by emotion. I just needed to get home. For once in my life I did something spontaneous and stupid. LOL.

I gave and gave and gave for this guy-and the saddest thing is I'm truly grieving for his family more than the loss of our relationship. My parents are divorced now-and throughout this drama his family has been so welcoming, affectionate, and sweet-I have become very attached to them. I'm distraught, to say the least. Ugh. Men SUCK.