I have an inexplicable feeling of sadness this evening. I feel a harrowing apprehension to teaching and a feeling of fright about working against the tremendous bureaucracy of MSB with all the stiffs who teach business and such.
That begs the question: what would I be happy with? My old job. I really, really miss working with my bosses and coworkers at Power On. And, perhaps saddest of all, for the first time I feel like my best songs are behind me. I listen to songs like "To Fall Asleep" and "All In Time" and I have no idea how I wrote them or recorded them so well. The songs just came alive. The took my hand and showed me how to make them. I only feel like the world needs to know about them and how special they are, that I owe it to my songs to share them with everyone I can possibly share them with. But I feel like I fall short of that task. I feel I lack the skills to properly honor them.
I sit at my studio feeling like a mad man, sitting at an abandonned church built for a god who has long since left this world, waiting for a vision, another sign after years of nothing.
I feel sort of like my life is over, like there's nothing to look forward to anymore.
That begs the question: what would I be happy with? My old job. I really, really miss working with my bosses and coworkers at Power On. And, perhaps saddest of all, for the first time I feel like my best songs are behind me. I listen to songs like "To Fall Asleep" and "All In Time" and I have no idea how I wrote them or recorded them so well. The songs just came alive. The took my hand and showed me how to make them. I only feel like the world needs to know about them and how special they are, that I owe it to my songs to share them with everyone I can possibly share them with. But I feel like I fall short of that task. I feel I lack the skills to properly honor them.
I sit at my studio feeling like a mad man, sitting at an abandonned church built for a god who has long since left this world, waiting for a vision, another sign after years of nothing.
I feel sort of like my life is over, like there's nothing to look forward to anymore.
I know I am the queen of cliches but I only say the ones that I feel are true. Maybe it's time to get back to the simple things in life. I think when you try to force yourself to do stuff it doesnt happen. It's when you sit back and just love and enjoy life that everything happens. It will all work out in the end, in the meantime sit back and enjoy the ride!