Dan forgot about practice last night. George and I were fully prepared to rock. This happens from time to time with all of us... well, I never forget about practice, but George has. I am quite concerned about Dan lately though.
Dan and I had a heated conversation a few weeks ago about where we should be practicing, the details of which I will not go into. In essence, Dan was upset about having practice in Minneapolis when he and George live in Stillwater. I compromised by agreeing to practice in Stillwater for two weeks, then in Minneapolis for two weeks. We agreed to rotate like this to make it seem more fair to Dan.
That night, I hauled my things to Stillwater and then, shortly after I arrived, was informed by Dan that he was coming to the Twin Cities that night to see a concert and he couldn't practice for more than an hour. I thought he was kidding, but he was serious.
He never brought his drum set to the space in Stillwater, opting to use George's less expensive set instead. We've only practiced as a full band in Stillwater twice. Once was the time he went to St. Paul afterwards and the other time he was an hour and a half late.
Last Thursday, he had car problems, which doesn't surprise me given his taste for older, used cars that are fixer-uppers. But last night he just says, "Oh shit, I forgot."
All this is telling me that Dan doesn't like coming to practice or that S by S isn't as big a priority to him as it is to George and I. That not only frustrates me, but it makes me very sad.
When I first started playing with Dan, it was like magic. Dan was grounded by his parents from playing with S by S and I wouldn't play with anyone else until he was available to play with S by S again.
When I see footage of Dan and I on stage, I can't think of anyone else I'd rather be seen on stage with. He has the energy and the attitude that will make S by S a huge success.
I feel the same way about him now as I did before, but I am quite certain it's not the same for him. He used to respect and admire me as much as I respected and admired him. I just don't get that sense right now.
I wish he'd bring his best set to practice like I bring my best guitar and amp and George does, too. I wish he'd show up on time and be enthused to play. Is it because of something I've done? Does he feel unappreciated or disrespected? Dan and I need to talk and get to the bottom of things.
And if his heart is no longer in S by S, then so be it. That just means there's someone else out there I'm meant to play with. But I want to play with no one other than Dan. I know he can play with passion and strength to back up what I'm singing about and what I'm feeling in the songs.
These are the sorts of problems one can have when playing in a band. It's like we're all married to one another. The relatedness, security and comfort come and go and then return, then go again. It's a cycle of trials and tribulations that seems to never end.
Sometimes I stop and look and wonder how the hell I find the motivation to continue. It's not just problems like this that challenge me, it's all the money I lose every month, seeing boxes of Ardor stacked against the wall in my basement and wondering if I'll ever sell them all. It's sending CDs to newspapers and radio stations that never listen to them, having concerts where not a single CD sells, finding out that after seven months only three CDs have sold at CD Baby and three at Cheapo.
I spend hundreds of dollars on posters, stickers, flyers and tickets only to find that word of mouth is what has brought people to our shows.
My accountant told me this year that if I don't start making money, the IRS may reject my status as a sole proprietorship (Marina Dee Records), and request I pay all the taxes I write off to help me in my endeavor into business ownership.
There are many other stresses I face that I'll spare you from having to read through.
I think it's really the feeling I have when Dan, George and I play together that keeps me going. The feeling during practice and especially on stage. The feeling of seeing people all there at the club to see me, the applause. The look in Michelle's eyes when she sees me on stage and when I get off stage, the way she kisses me...
Knowing that even though I'm seeing little success, I am giving it all I got to make the dreams of 14 year old Matthew Delfino, who rode his bike to Wayne Schmidt's house on Lake George to buy his first Harmony imitation Stratocaster from Mrs. Roz Schmidt, with no fucking idea how to play it (or pay for it), come true.
In a very real sense, I already have made his dreams come true.
But I still want Dan to love playing in a band with me.
See the rest at http://www.stolenbyserious.com/journal.html
Dan and I had a heated conversation a few weeks ago about where we should be practicing, the details of which I will not go into. In essence, Dan was upset about having practice in Minneapolis when he and George live in Stillwater. I compromised by agreeing to practice in Stillwater for two weeks, then in Minneapolis for two weeks. We agreed to rotate like this to make it seem more fair to Dan.
That night, I hauled my things to Stillwater and then, shortly after I arrived, was informed by Dan that he was coming to the Twin Cities that night to see a concert and he couldn't practice for more than an hour. I thought he was kidding, but he was serious.
He never brought his drum set to the space in Stillwater, opting to use George's less expensive set instead. We've only practiced as a full band in Stillwater twice. Once was the time he went to St. Paul afterwards and the other time he was an hour and a half late.
Last Thursday, he had car problems, which doesn't surprise me given his taste for older, used cars that are fixer-uppers. But last night he just says, "Oh shit, I forgot."
All this is telling me that Dan doesn't like coming to practice or that S by S isn't as big a priority to him as it is to George and I. That not only frustrates me, but it makes me very sad.
When I first started playing with Dan, it was like magic. Dan was grounded by his parents from playing with S by S and I wouldn't play with anyone else until he was available to play with S by S again.
When I see footage of Dan and I on stage, I can't think of anyone else I'd rather be seen on stage with. He has the energy and the attitude that will make S by S a huge success.
I feel the same way about him now as I did before, but I am quite certain it's not the same for him. He used to respect and admire me as much as I respected and admired him. I just don't get that sense right now.
I wish he'd bring his best set to practice like I bring my best guitar and amp and George does, too. I wish he'd show up on time and be enthused to play. Is it because of something I've done? Does he feel unappreciated or disrespected? Dan and I need to talk and get to the bottom of things.
And if his heart is no longer in S by S, then so be it. That just means there's someone else out there I'm meant to play with. But I want to play with no one other than Dan. I know he can play with passion and strength to back up what I'm singing about and what I'm feeling in the songs.
These are the sorts of problems one can have when playing in a band. It's like we're all married to one another. The relatedness, security and comfort come and go and then return, then go again. It's a cycle of trials and tribulations that seems to never end.
Sometimes I stop and look and wonder how the hell I find the motivation to continue. It's not just problems like this that challenge me, it's all the money I lose every month, seeing boxes of Ardor stacked against the wall in my basement and wondering if I'll ever sell them all. It's sending CDs to newspapers and radio stations that never listen to them, having concerts where not a single CD sells, finding out that after seven months only three CDs have sold at CD Baby and three at Cheapo.
I spend hundreds of dollars on posters, stickers, flyers and tickets only to find that word of mouth is what has brought people to our shows.
My accountant told me this year that if I don't start making money, the IRS may reject my status as a sole proprietorship (Marina Dee Records), and request I pay all the taxes I write off to help me in my endeavor into business ownership.
There are many other stresses I face that I'll spare you from having to read through.
I think it's really the feeling I have when Dan, George and I play together that keeps me going. The feeling during practice and especially on stage. The feeling of seeing people all there at the club to see me, the applause. The look in Michelle's eyes when she sees me on stage and when I get off stage, the way she kisses me...
Knowing that even though I'm seeing little success, I am giving it all I got to make the dreams of 14 year old Matthew Delfino, who rode his bike to Wayne Schmidt's house on Lake George to buy his first Harmony imitation Stratocaster from Mrs. Roz Schmidt, with no fucking idea how to play it (or pay for it), come true.
In a very real sense, I already have made his dreams come true.
But I still want Dan to love playing in a band with me.
See the rest at http://www.stolenbyserious.com/journal.html