Ugh.
I hate wanting to masturbate, but not being horny enough to do it.
No matter how hard I try, I just can't seem to hush up and act like a normal, petite flower.
My committee seems to have gone on a permanent vacation. My internal censor is on the fritz.
The other night at lil_tuffy's birthday party I was wearing this boy's camera around my neck. It had a very long telephoto lens and the strap was so long that it sat right at my crotch. And I swear, I resisted the urge.. but I couldn't help it. I started thrusting my hips and going on about how wearing the camera made me feel like I had a cock. And I continued to state how I wished I had a cock so I could do the "helicopter" or the "whirly-bird".
OMG.
Then, the other day while my housemates and their mates and I were out on the stoop, I ran to the store to grab a tall boy. I come back with the beer in a little paper sack and everyone is like, "Hey, what's that?" So, of course, I put the sack to my crotch, slowly pull back the paper sack- and start thrusting my hips, singing, "Who got the hooch! Baby!! Who got the only sweetest thing in the world!! Who got the loooooooove!! Who got the freshy freshy!!!" One of the guys stares at me wide-eyed and exclaims, "Can you do that? Ohmigod! Can she do that???"
That's only one type of my madness. The other is at work. On Friday at my day job, I was speculating on the reprecussions of abusing the inter-office mail system by sending love letters to myself. Because receiving inter-office mail makes me feel special!
And at my naked job I'll lay on the floor, legs spread-eagle and stare at my crotch. And I'll go on to anyone who will listen about how much I love my crotch. Last time I considered aloud the possibility of making a copy of it on the copy machine, then screen printing it on a t-shirt below the text "I LOVE My Crotch!".
It's all the time with me. I wonder how annoying I am to be around.
I'd better ask somebody.
I hate wanting to masturbate, but not being horny enough to do it.
No matter how hard I try, I just can't seem to hush up and act like a normal, petite flower.
My committee seems to have gone on a permanent vacation. My internal censor is on the fritz.
The other night at lil_tuffy's birthday party I was wearing this boy's camera around my neck. It had a very long telephoto lens and the strap was so long that it sat right at my crotch. And I swear, I resisted the urge.. but I couldn't help it. I started thrusting my hips and going on about how wearing the camera made me feel like I had a cock. And I continued to state how I wished I had a cock so I could do the "helicopter" or the "whirly-bird".
OMG.
Then, the other day while my housemates and their mates and I were out on the stoop, I ran to the store to grab a tall boy. I come back with the beer in a little paper sack and everyone is like, "Hey, what's that?" So, of course, I put the sack to my crotch, slowly pull back the paper sack- and start thrusting my hips, singing, "Who got the hooch! Baby!! Who got the only sweetest thing in the world!! Who got the loooooooove!! Who got the freshy freshy!!!" One of the guys stares at me wide-eyed and exclaims, "Can you do that? Ohmigod! Can she do that???"
That's only one type of my madness. The other is at work. On Friday at my day job, I was speculating on the reprecussions of abusing the inter-office mail system by sending love letters to myself. Because receiving inter-office mail makes me feel special!
And at my naked job I'll lay on the floor, legs spread-eagle and stare at my crotch. And I'll go on to anyone who will listen about how much I love my crotch. Last time I considered aloud the possibility of making a copy of it on the copy machine, then screen printing it on a t-shirt below the text "I LOVE My Crotch!".
It's all the time with me. I wonder how annoying I am to be around.
I'd better ask somebody.
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
I'll be right over!