sistervanian

My heart aches and is heavy and tired from a workout that only that which is sprung upon you and rips out your soul can give.

I'm nearly dead inside, and my head aches like you would not beleive, I miss him so much, the way he used to pet my hair as he'd walk to the refrigerator for another beer. While I sat here being a idiot instead of being what and where I should have been. his, with him.

And now after a life of tragedies I face a new test, all alone, by myself, living for his visits while I treasure every moment as if it were made of gold and he just wants to go.

I'll be forever sorry for my word and actions, but sorry doesn't matter anymore, He doesn't take sorry for an answer. I get coldness and rejection, And the simple fact that I'm being mentally tortured, And judged by how I respond, If I act like I don't care then it's fine. If I pour out the sheer ache and pain that is burning me to the depths of my soul, pain like nothing I've ever known, Pain so bad it makes one only able to simply nourish one on ones tears. Well then,,, I'm simply "dysfunctional" but aren't we all? Come on, look at the world. Aren't we all? The Beauty of life is finding someone who can overlook your faults enough who makes you laugh, and love you for who you are and to laugh at your jokes get through the ugliness of life with with.
I'm just stricken with grief today. tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow....
Dutchess Of Tears