sissy

dammit... i am adult foster care certified now... i will be learning to work a new place now... i'm happy where i am if i keep getting hours... i feel like they're pushing me... grr...

anyways... i've been having very long email heart-to-hearts with my ex... i dunno where this is leading, or whether it'll be good for me... but who's to say? all i...
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buggery... been working more these days... it's kinda nice... makes me feel like i'm good for something... i need that sometimes...

i've been having really vivid and fucked up dreams... i hate it... i'll have weeks where i don't remember my dreams at all and then i'll have times where i can't nap for an hour without dreaming i'm back with or having a fight...
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i don't care what mood i'm in, i put in The Big Lebowski and i laugh out loud... this movie makes me very happy... the dialogue fucking slays me... it's maybe my favorite movie ever... it's so tight and perfect and just good... ...

Little Shop of Horrors is way up there too... my favorite musical... i think i pretty much have all the songs...
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i am all caught up on my school shit... wrote a second short story for class... adjusting to being broke for the next several weeks, dammit... have been getting zero hours at work but have a full shift tomorrow... being away from that place for a week and a half feels like forever... need to watch my final adult foster care video... those things are...
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i had a good halloween... dressed up for work... saw my nephews... gave out candy... the clients loved seein the trick-or-treaters... fun fun...

i am noticing a change in my body... it's weird... i actually feel slimmer... clothes that fit me a year ago hang on me... crazy... i've been eating smaller meals and waiting longer in between... not necessarily on purpose... i've been busy...
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"when i'm drunk it's easy, when i'm sober i try not to love you so hard..."

-erin mckeown

ugh... got drunk last night for the first time in a while... woke up disoriented... it sucked... no more wine for me for a while... tea is better for sissy for now... dammit... i would actually say that i've been depressed the past week, and there has...
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okay... i've been in a bad mood now for a good two days... recieved my velma wig by ups today... it's amazing how much a wig can do for your state of mind... i can have bangs without having bangs... took a few pictures i might post... it's weird.. i wanted a brown wig but black will work fine too... combined with the rest of...
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hmm... reading even cowgirls get the blues by tom robbins... i really like it so far... funny shit... first book of his i've read so far... probably not the last though...

i've felt restless lately and i've been spending far too much money on shit i don't need... i won't be getting as many hours now... hired a couple of new on call people at...
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oy vey... this has been a day very oriented with my ex... i dreamt about her this morning... i was completing a package i mean to mail to her... then she called me... then i got my mail and found a package she sent me... criminy... i am out of sorts... it's not necessarily a bad thing... makes me think... challenge myself... just weird... all...
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okay...

so it'll be a while before i start on my tattoo idea... but i talked to jen about it a little... i have a good idea now as to what's involved... i've never gotten a big huge tattoo before... it will take a couple of preliminary consults... i need to save up at least $400 i think... the outline will take between 3 and...
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