sintantrix

in honor of my birthday and since i am in an absolutely ridiculous bad mood i am posting the birthday poem i wrote for myself in '96.... plus a few more just for fun.. yeah fun. definately having random violent thoughts alot for the past 3 days.. not normal, i am usually filled with glee the week before my birthday.. chalk it up to pms and stress.



HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HONEY

Chaos is familiar to my thoughts
Pulling me out of stasis.

Form the chimes of beginning
Stand at the helm.
Cruise on open sea til the winds blows clear my mind.
Strike back tall palms
Reveal and discover.

To scream and rant
Make big spectacles of movement
that is how I feel
I want to run - free of all
answering to none, full and complete in myself.

*******************

Fractured senses crammed with thyme and season
Suction sensation pulling my tremors back
White flames steal the oxygen from my psyche
Granite and slate play their shifting games on top of me
Severe and molten, the flow leaves no mark

Suck magma through a straw
Smile and beg for more
Smooth faade belies torture

********************

UNTITLED

the freeze on my smile spins silent across my lips
as I fold my feelings inward I see that I am small
tucked in a corner, separate from all

i have none of the full and perfect
as a fleeting shiver slides between my shoulders.

*********************

FAIRY RINGS

I cant catch them
bright and flowing
a tongue between my teeth
so damn them bright and flowing
only biting is relief

***********************

POPPIES

I stand in the company of trembling flowers, a candle burns hot to light my eyes
Quicksilver tongue for any sane thought, try for the slide but come up short,
can the whole thing, begin in the dark.
Falling for destiny
A plunge to the right or maybe the left or wrong or blind.
Damn further yearning, be tall and proud
No shimmering jewel (elusive and deceiving)
Lost here in the meadow.
To touch it but once
To know who fell before me.

************************

SAND STORMS

Tears and raindrops mix on my cheek
A slow burning flame gathers at my feet
Force of a storm builds in my hand
My eyes open wide to the heat.
Here I have waited, heart filled with sand
While the forest grew tall behind me
Cradled by wind, caressed by the rain
But always my soul was empty.

Then the song that tempts my voice came slowly to my ears,
Carried on lips soft as butterfly wings.

High on this peak I watch as you climb
Singing sweetly to yourself.
On my knees with a sigh
Fear finally subsides
Your hand reaches up taking mine.
Cradled by your strength, caressed by your smile
As your tears mix with mine on my cheek.

**********************

THE WAKING SOUND

Sometimes in my calm
a waking sound will come
Throwing rocks into my mind,
rippling my ancient pool.

Sounding far and rhythmic
A steady droning din

I forego the ritual detachment
Put an answer to the call.

With words to sway and conjure
A toning bell is rung

Thoughts are formed by wisdom
The waking sound has come.

****************

alright.. thats enough of my mindless drivel.. time to put on a happy face