There is a lot in a name
last year my boy was on me daily about getting a cat no I said repeatedly never had a cat, never wanted a cat and truth be told, I never liked cats. But persistent like his ol man he kept at it can I get a cat? no!. Can I get a cat? NO!! . CAN I GET A CAT !!?? NOOO!!! Finally a month later he broke me ,ok Dawson you can get a cat as long as its a black one cause black is cool .So while looking in the local rag fer kittens to give away I was pleased to tell my boy I found one because I wasnt gonna pay one damn cent fer a cat. So off we go to check it out , we arrive at the door and this lady greets us with a box of kittens + mama and in my mind all im thinking is GREAT now on top of feeding an Irish wolfhound , picking up Irish wolfhound poop which by the way rivals any humans poop on the best of days im gonna be doing the same fer a dumb ass cat GREAT !! We look in the box and there he was the tryin like a damn to get at a nipple but those other products of incest wouldnt let him in. So we moved them around pulled the fattest one off and put the lil black one in to get one last feeding from mama but that fat piece of shit bowled him over an took away his titty . I felt bad fer the lil guy I knew he was the runt/underdog er cat and as much as I always root for the underdog they rarely make it THE ALPHA CAT HE WAS NOT
So off we go with our fourth member of the family . whilst driving home I ask the boy what are you gonna name him ? He spurted a name out that sounded like it came from a mars telephone book knickenzolpher
or some shit I had to laugh . I said naw man ya gotta give him a tough name because people grow into their names and maybe a cat will as well so finally we came up with diablo.
A week or two rolled by and hes gettin a lil bigger. I got a mushroom studded collar for him and he looks like a toughy, but is still a lil pussy (No pun intended)
finally I noticed a change in him . He isnt hiding behind the couch any more no not at all , hes attacking it
my leather couch!!! And the dog my IRISH FUCKING WOLFHOUND wont be in the same room as him .If diablo is upstairs K.C is downstairs big baby loves to chase deer in the bush but runs from a lil cat.
This mild meek lil shit really turned into SATAN IM NOT KIDDING You think im kidding but im not
I would fall asleep on my once nice -all black but now speckled with white stuffing leather couch and when I would wake up my hands would be bleeding --I know what yer thinking the lil guy gave me a few scratches an a lil bitty blood came out FUCK THAT!!! If Daryl the albino saw that much blood it woulda sent him into a coma . One day the lil bastard came in sprawled out in front of the big screen, I didnt pay much attention to him but something caught his attention and out of the blue he jumped at the screen with all twenty claws out and attacked wilma flinstone at this point im ready to grab the cat and load two slugs into Mr. SNUFFULUFFAGUS and do away with him once and fer all cause fuck I hated that cat
but its my boys cat and as much as that spastic thing attacks him, He loves him.
4 months of hell later I had enough disposable income to purchase a new screen for my television
but the week prior to that decision diablo lost all his demonic qualities if you can call it that so I called a vet
told him about the cat moving slowly , not drinking and not eating and not shitting or pissing he said bring him down so off we go leave him there they ship him to the city where they can scope his track and $900 dollars later I have a cat that can eat and shit again .
Can you see the irony here
any way after that the lil puke changed again really becoming affectionate with me always jumping on my chest looking for pattins ,following me around and being an all around nice cat .even my dog can stay in same room with him now maybe he realized that I didnt let him die and helped him
so after another month passes and I think diablo is big enough to venture outside .we started letting him out ,for a few weeks it was kinda cool I never put my dog on a leash when I take him for daily walks and sure as hell diablo would keep up with us .me in the lead k.c my dog trailing then diablo .
THIS CAT ROCKS
But then he started not coming home @ night. We worried and would go out looking for him 5 - 6 days later he would come back obviously from tom cattin ,ear split open ,numerous gashes on his body ,bloodstained eye a real fuckin mess
I would pull out my first aid kit and heal him fer 5 - 6 days and he was as nice as can be- not leaving my side being super affectionate but eventually would want out
let him out- then gone again
but the cat came back with more scars more wounds and knows that ill fix him up
a few more trips to the vet to remove a pellet from his paw then a damaged esophagus from a dog beating his ass but still hell rest fer a bit and always want back out , what a tough lil fucker you are. they say cats have nine lives Well not when youre the devil I have a lot of respect fer my cat Anyway I gotta remove some bandages now cause diablo wants to terrorize the neighborhood
I love my cat
last year my boy was on me daily about getting a cat no I said repeatedly never had a cat, never wanted a cat and truth be told, I never liked cats. But persistent like his ol man he kept at it can I get a cat? no!. Can I get a cat? NO!! . CAN I GET A CAT !!?? NOOO!!! Finally a month later he broke me ,ok Dawson you can get a cat as long as its a black one cause black is cool .So while looking in the local rag fer kittens to give away I was pleased to tell my boy I found one because I wasnt gonna pay one damn cent fer a cat. So off we go to check it out , we arrive at the door and this lady greets us with a box of kittens + mama and in my mind all im thinking is GREAT now on top of feeding an Irish wolfhound , picking up Irish wolfhound poop which by the way rivals any humans poop on the best of days im gonna be doing the same fer a dumb ass cat GREAT !! We look in the box and there he was the tryin like a damn to get at a nipple but those other products of incest wouldnt let him in. So we moved them around pulled the fattest one off and put the lil black one in to get one last feeding from mama but that fat piece of shit bowled him over an took away his titty . I felt bad fer the lil guy I knew he was the runt/underdog er cat and as much as I always root for the underdog they rarely make it THE ALPHA CAT HE WAS NOT
So off we go with our fourth member of the family . whilst driving home I ask the boy what are you gonna name him ? He spurted a name out that sounded like it came from a mars telephone book knickenzolpher
or some shit I had to laugh . I said naw man ya gotta give him a tough name because people grow into their names and maybe a cat will as well so finally we came up with diablo.
A week or two rolled by and hes gettin a lil bigger. I got a mushroom studded collar for him and he looks like a toughy, but is still a lil pussy (No pun intended)
finally I noticed a change in him . He isnt hiding behind the couch any more no not at all , hes attacking it
my leather couch!!! And the dog my IRISH FUCKING WOLFHOUND wont be in the same room as him .If diablo is upstairs K.C is downstairs big baby loves to chase deer in the bush but runs from a lil cat.
This mild meek lil shit really turned into SATAN IM NOT KIDDING You think im kidding but im not
I would fall asleep on my once nice -all black but now speckled with white stuffing leather couch and when I would wake up my hands would be bleeding --I know what yer thinking the lil guy gave me a few scratches an a lil bitty blood came out FUCK THAT!!! If Daryl the albino saw that much blood it woulda sent him into a coma . One day the lil bastard came in sprawled out in front of the big screen, I didnt pay much attention to him but something caught his attention and out of the blue he jumped at the screen with all twenty claws out and attacked wilma flinstone at this point im ready to grab the cat and load two slugs into Mr. SNUFFULUFFAGUS and do away with him once and fer all cause fuck I hated that cat
but its my boys cat and as much as that spastic thing attacks him, He loves him.
4 months of hell later I had enough disposable income to purchase a new screen for my television
but the week prior to that decision diablo lost all his demonic qualities if you can call it that so I called a vet
told him about the cat moving slowly , not drinking and not eating and not shitting or pissing he said bring him down so off we go leave him there they ship him to the city where they can scope his track and $900 dollars later I have a cat that can eat and shit again .
Can you see the irony here
any way after that the lil puke changed again really becoming affectionate with me always jumping on my chest looking for pattins ,following me around and being an all around nice cat .even my dog can stay in same room with him now maybe he realized that I didnt let him die and helped him
so after another month passes and I think diablo is big enough to venture outside .we started letting him out ,for a few weeks it was kinda cool I never put my dog on a leash when I take him for daily walks and sure as hell diablo would keep up with us .me in the lead k.c my dog trailing then diablo .
THIS CAT ROCKS
But then he started not coming home @ night. We worried and would go out looking for him 5 - 6 days later he would come back obviously from tom cattin ,ear split open ,numerous gashes on his body ,bloodstained eye a real fuckin mess
I would pull out my first aid kit and heal him fer 5 - 6 days and he was as nice as can be- not leaving my side being super affectionate but eventually would want out
let him out- then gone again
but the cat came back with more scars more wounds and knows that ill fix him up
a few more trips to the vet to remove a pellet from his paw then a damaged esophagus from a dog beating his ass but still hell rest fer a bit and always want back out , what a tough lil fucker you are. they say cats have nine lives Well not when youre the devil I have a lot of respect fer my cat Anyway I gotta remove some bandages now cause diablo wants to terrorize the neighborhood
I love my cat
VIEW 21 of 21 COMMENTS
sunshine:
Glad you're still enjoying it...a whole week later 
annisa:
ok, you asked...I was a nurse who administered the paint filled enemas to my freind Pennytration...a crazy punk rock drag queen and then of course he sprayed some canvases. This was at The Dirty Show a few years back..so it was a pretty big audience.I don't think it's art, but it was odd, funny. Even more odd...they all sold.
