i fell into a pit today full of lneliness and self loathing.I ware my heart upon my arm for all to see,because i show it this way does not meen that it is there for you to abuse.people say they want honesty but can't handle it. I have a fallen into this pit before and usually reach for the nearest drink to blur my pain.I can handle and envite physical pain but that of the heart is the sharpest pain of all and i yet to learn how to handle it .of all things in life i have no fear but one i fear being alone it is the darkest ,coldest and most painfull of things i have faced. I write to help me understand and to segment my thoughts to make it easier. i sit alone with only the words of people repeating in my head "you will find some one" when? " there is some one out there for you" who and where? " you are a great and noble man" prove it to me love me as i love you. I am willing to lay down my life for you a million times over if need be I will fight your fights and take your wounds.all i ask is prove it to me words are only words if you can't back them with actions.so I sit in my pit and contiplate these things . WHO? WHEN?WHERE? are the things that keep me here
