Perhaps I spoke just a moment too soon. Today brought the all-to- familiar fear and uncertainty back to my mind. The longing for what is gone and never to return. Some of the blame can be placed at the altar of the ever too eager american way of life, where barely after the breath of Christmas has passed we are already preparing for Valentine's Day......
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Three days into the new year, and it has been infinitely better than the last. Only 362 to go.
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realistic67:
I'm loving it so far......
I'm loving it so far......
morbidkitten:
hope your luck continues 
Irony: That is the tragedy of life, there is such great comedy. I just made the hardest phone call of my lilfe. A call that was possible only because of two sweet shots of vodka. I called my estranged wife to let her know that I know, she is now with another man...
Odd, to sit still in such a situation. Odd, the way you...
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Odd, to sit still in such a situation. Odd, the way you...
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simonkelly:
Thank you MorbidKitten (and LaceyK) comments from such beautiful women, even in such a forum, are a drop of joy in a bucket of sorrow. Happy holidays to both of you.
nickola:
Merry Christmas!
I just returned from a holiday party. There was dancing and drinking and a good time was had by all.
And I sat small in a corner pathetic eyed and ridgid. It seems I am not the company for the happy bon ton. I didn't expect it to be this hard, nor did I expect it to tear so deep.
And I sat small in a corner pathetic eyed and ridgid. It seems I am not the company for the happy bon ton. I didn't expect it to be this hard, nor did I expect it to tear so deep.
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simonkelly:
Thanks for the comments, realistic.
I am the production manager for a small software company. Nothing very exciting, but, alas, bills have to be paid by some means...
I am the production manager for a small software company. Nothing very exciting, but, alas, bills have to be paid by some means...
An update on the cookie situation.
A friend suggested today, with a rather knowing smile, that perhaps the cookies were sent to me by someone that I know, who wished to wish me well, and at the same time appeal to my sense of irony.
In short, I think that my moral dilemma may have been a bit premature.
But, as Bretch said, "Grub first,...
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A friend suggested today, with a rather knowing smile, that perhaps the cookies were sent to me by someone that I know, who wished to wish me well, and at the same time appeal to my sense of irony.
In short, I think that my moral dilemma may have been a bit premature.
But, as Bretch said, "Grub first,...
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A moral dilemma...
Upon arriving home today, I was welcomed on my front porch with a non-descript cardboard box. I examined the label, and the addresse was not myself, nor those who lived here before me, nor my immediate neighbors. Furthermore, the address was exactly correct; there could be no mistake that it was meant to come here.
Some additional information: The package says "perishable",...
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Upon arriving home today, I was welcomed on my front porch with a non-descript cardboard box. I examined the label, and the addresse was not myself, nor those who lived here before me, nor my immediate neighbors. Furthermore, the address was exactly correct; there could be no mistake that it was meant to come here.
Some additional information: The package says "perishable",...
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morbidkitten:
You made the right choice my friend if a box of cookies arrives at your doorstep it would be foolish to not eat them..they are cookies! 
simonkelly:
Morbid Kitten, yours is the type of logic that all men should respect!!!
It is odd, the truth. But such is indeed the case. Tonight I feel well. Though my heart is torn by torment, and my mind is distressed by hindsight and guilt, nonetheless, I feel hope. Perhaps the cold of winter has numbed my sensibility, or the strain of heartbrokeness has drowned my sense of appropriatness... nonetheless, I know that I shall love again, and I...
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realistic67:
Hey, you never told me what you production manage.....
simonkelly:
Oh, yeah. Really the most banal form of management... I work for a software company, and oversee the production of the products.
ugh. But it pays the bills.
ugh. But it pays the bills.
The weather was cool and brisk today, with no chance of rain. Such weather demands that one take a walk, if not for oneself, then at least for good mother nature, to show that she is, in some small way, appreciated.
So, armed only with my iPod, I sought refuge in the movement of my legs and the joy of my thoughts.
Only my thoughts...
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So, armed only with my iPod, I sought refuge in the movement of my legs and the joy of my thoughts.
Only my thoughts...
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realistic67:
This is pretty common. The idea that that was your lost grasp at the golden ring.
For years afterward, I saw in my minds eye the perfect children of our union that where not to be. It's like hearing your favorite song over and over again long after the radio station has stopped playing it.
It's a tough moment. All I can suggest is have another focus. A rebound relationship or better a new relationship with yourself. have you tried free face rock climbing? inside or outside?
Really, try it. Bring the focus of your life back appon yourself. In whatever means you need. But, rock climbing. It's this sublime experience. relying on totally you. getting a grasp on ones internal ability.
Either that or you can take it on the revenge side streak that I did which was an internal statement of, "When we meet up again I WILL BE BETTER THAN YOU AND WHAT WE WHERE.....
It's not the best starting point. But I'll bet you understand where I'm talking from.
For years afterward, I saw in my minds eye the perfect children of our union that where not to be. It's like hearing your favorite song over and over again long after the radio station has stopped playing it.
It's a tough moment. All I can suggest is have another focus. A rebound relationship or better a new relationship with yourself. have you tried free face rock climbing? inside or outside?
Really, try it. Bring the focus of your life back appon yourself. In whatever means you need. But, rock climbing. It's this sublime experience. relying on totally you. getting a grasp on ones internal ability.
Either that or you can take it on the revenge side streak that I did which was an internal statement of, "When we meet up again I WILL BE BETTER THAN YOU AND WHAT WE WHERE.....
It's not the best starting point. But I'll bet you understand where I'm talking from.
simonkelly:
Yeah, I understand completely where you are talking from. It is unfortunate that these thoughts keep coming up, all univited and everything. Thankfully, they are becoming more rare as time progresses.
I think the best thing now is, like you said, to bring the focus of my life back upon myself.
Not the easiest thing to do, but probably the wisest.
I think the best thing now is, like you said, to bring the focus of my life back upon myself.
Not the easiest thing to do, but probably the wisest.
For some reason, the rain strikes a bit colder this year. Perhaps it is just the variety of the weather, or perhaps it is something else entirely...
I am certainly not looking forward to a weekend of looking backwards.
I am certainly not looking forward to a weekend of looking backwards.
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realistic67:
Glad to help....Reading your entries totally takes me back. And I know where your coming from. My relationship blues came from picking a woman who hadn't gotten her life together while I was off and on touring across Canada with a rock band. I came this close to marrying her. And I'm glad I didn't.
To change the subject....Your a production manager? What do you manage?
To change the subject....Your a production manager? What do you manage?
jennyfur:
thanks =) my headache went away
Eugene is a rather cold place these days, where your breath leaves your body and then, in a fit of spite, comes back to slap you in your face. We are Oregonians... give us rain and moderate temperatues, and we will be quite satisfied, but, ma'am nature, shouldn't your cold be given to Alaska for continuity, or perhaps San Diego for irony?
If you were closer I would make anti valentine plans with you!