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Moving?

So I'm thinking of moving into a place with Galina (a friend of mine) and a Vegan buddhist woman. I only just now thought of it.

The household is vegiterian.

My mom hates what I eat, and so will these ladies.

I have two dominating women telling me what to do either way.

Free DSL or Free digital cable?

...

I mine as well...
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- Had a pretty good day today.

Amazing poetry readings from my classmates. Most people in my class did Heteronames - "Different Names" - in which they wrote poetry based on another identity. This is based on the poet Fernando Pesoa - an amazing Brazilian poet who died in the 1930's who was obsessed about creating alternate identities in which to view the world through....
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kealli:
welcome to the group smile
silvan415:
Thankies - Hope I can write something of value.
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Gee - spoke to Sloan today (ex boyfriend) - that was interesting.

I was like two seconds into the conversation and like (Emotional vomit)

I swear, sometimes I'm so transparent. Or maybe its how i relate to him. Everything from the past two years came issuing forth - all the things that have happened.

Fuck i miss him. he's so cute.

i mean - slender,...
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Rasputina is sooooo qute!

I went to a Rasputina concert and it was great. She trills her voice - she really has such a command of her voice, and the instrument she uses.

She played Baracuda!

Malissa and I went to the Great American Music Hall on O'Ferral - its a damn gothic place, said to be haunted, red carpets and victorian walls with mirrors,...
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My life is a collection of peaks and valleys.

i believe, this goes into the equalibrium theory i've heard several philosophers mention. "Why are so many humans a collection of zeroes, never positive, never negative -"

I think we're pushed into zero. the universe pushes its children into 'zero'. You gain, you loose, you loose, you gain.

the state without suffering is Buddha's middle edge...
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(This is my other self)

Nalo.

Nalo got into the car with him.

For two years, She's been putting up with Erik's shit. He IMed her when he got out of boot camp. Got -out- of bootcamp.

"I stabbed my drill sargent in the neck. I attacked my bunk-mate, and I tried to kill myself."

He said, and she wasnt really looking at him.

She...
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*listens to Careless Love by Madelein Peyroux*

*melt*
silvan415:
(This is my other self)

Nalo.

Nalo got into the car with him.

For two years, She's been putting up with Erik's shit. He IMed her when he got out of boot camp. Got -out- of bootcamp.

"I stabbed my drill sargent in the neck. I attacked my bunk-mate, and I tried to kill myself."

He said, and she wasnt really looking at him.

She was looking at his lips.

He drove through the town, one cigarette hanging out of his hand - drove through the town like they've done a million times before.

There was a moment awhile ago when she felt something strange as they sped down the street.

That was the last time she mentioned Susan while driving.

"Yeah - you know that tree back there?" He asked, and she nodded, "I nearly carreened into it going 60. the only reason I didnt is sitting next to me."

And he drove with two fingers on the steering wheel.

--

"so you want to do this?" He asked.

"Not sure." She said, pushing that long hair away from her face - that damned long hair.

"its up to you." he said, staring forward, driving, "never done anything like this before?"

She let out a sigh, staring at the steering wheel for a long time.

He took her hand, half for the shock value, half for pleasure.

"I had a dream about you." He said. "I want to talk to you about that."

She squeazed his crotch as they drove. His eyes looked like metal as he stared forward.

"I want you to pretend I'm a woman." he said, black hair melting across his Chinese features, eyes like metal, and he wasnt looking at the road.

He let out a smile which was abhorrant for him.

"And then I want you to fuck me."
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(This is my other self.)

Nalo.

What goes on behind Nalo's eyes?

Red bangs hang over the creasts of her cheekbones,
and she's clearly in drag.

Fuck.

Japanese and French canadian.

She drops a cigarette and flips me off while walking away.
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Son of a lesbian. How do I come out? What do I do to come out?

My mind feels like its breaking into several shards. I'm watching L word and its bringing back my childhood.

Is my gender identity merely a spawn of the contradictions I was raised with?

How much did being called "Man-cub" every time her friends were around affect me.

Was it...
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bleh.
silvan415:
Son of a lesbian. How do I come out? What do I do to come out?

My mind feels like its breaking into several shards. I'm watching L word and its bringing back my childhood.

Is my gender identity merely a spawn of the contradictions I was raised with?

How much did being called "Man-cub" every time her friends were around affect me.

Was it that I always felt like this, and I am only just now responding to it?

Am I transgender, do I wish to be a woman? Am I actually a woman?

I'm getting an eternity knot between my shoulderblades. I'm going to do this soon. I'm going to do it only by contributions from my friends - none of my own money.

Everything is connected...but, I feel as if, for me, everything is fragments, dust. I can't hold on to anything. Part of me likes it this way.

maybe the first time in my life I'm being honest with myself.

I love the female body but, I cannot be a straight man.