I seriously need to get this all out before I scream.. This week has been nothing but hell for me. Friday night I spent a good amount of time at Beau's house. It was a good time, but I swear as each minute went on, I felt like I was becoming more sad. He left for California Saturday and I was trying to be okay because I'm sure I'll see him again. Sunday nothing bad happened except my mom leaving for vacation and I really wish she didn't. Then Halloween happened.. and nothing good ever happens on Halloween for me.
I went down to Connecticut because my grandfather was getting sicker in the hospital and my mother and I don't think he's going to last that much longer. After I went to see my cousin Crystal, we hung out for a while, got lunch.. and then when I was about to leave around 4:30.. my car wouldn't start. I tried so hard to get it to start, we tried jumping it and everything... nothing would happen. I almost broke down just from that, but oh no my day gets worse. I called my work to tell them what was going on.. keep in mind, it's 5 at night. I spoke to chris and told him I'd give him a call in an hour or so to tell him what exactly was going on.. well I did. I told him I was stuck in Connecticut until tomorrow and that I needed both of my shifts covered.. his exact words to me were "Okay I'll find someone." A little bit after, oh guess what, my friend calls me to tell me John Holohan got into a car accident and passed away. I've known him for a good two years now from promotions and shows. He was always someone I enjoyed talking to after Bayside's shows.. his jokes were dumb, but he was amazing.. I went into my aunts bathroom and just was in tears, I didn't believe it. My friend told me to get online and she showed me the link.. I couldn't believe it, I still can't. He was such an amazing person. It scares me because I saw him not too long ago.. hugs, talking, jokes, and smiles were involved.. and now I feel like that's just .. ugh
So I finally calmed down and went out for a bit with my cousin.. came back to their house and just stayed up because there was so much on my mind. I finally went to bed at 2:30 and got up around 7:30.. the first thing I did was call work to make sure they got the message. I spoke to John and he said he'd make sure dan got the message.. around 10:30 I called again and talked to Maria.. she didn't seem to believe me either.. I called again at noon to say my car was just getting into the shop.. Dan asks me when I'll be back.. I told him I didn't know.. he said I was supposed to work tonight.. I told him what I told Chris last night on the phone and then Dan proceeded to ask me why I didn't call anyone... I, of course, began to cry on the phone because I couldn't deal with it. I was about to scream at him, but I kept my mouth shut because I need this job. He finally said if I worked Saturday morning he could get someone to do my shift, whatever. I'll fucking work Saturday morning.
I'm sick of this shit.. my mom isn't home and all I want is comfort, but no one is around. I'm tempted to just go lay in bed with my cat and go to sleep. I have to work tomorrow so lord knows that will be a great time..
please, just buy this
I went down to Connecticut because my grandfather was getting sicker in the hospital and my mother and I don't think he's going to last that much longer. After I went to see my cousin Crystal, we hung out for a while, got lunch.. and then when I was about to leave around 4:30.. my car wouldn't start. I tried so hard to get it to start, we tried jumping it and everything... nothing would happen. I almost broke down just from that, but oh no my day gets worse. I called my work to tell them what was going on.. keep in mind, it's 5 at night. I spoke to chris and told him I'd give him a call in an hour or so to tell him what exactly was going on.. well I did. I told him I was stuck in Connecticut until tomorrow and that I needed both of my shifts covered.. his exact words to me were "Okay I'll find someone." A little bit after, oh guess what, my friend calls me to tell me John Holohan got into a car accident and passed away. I've known him for a good two years now from promotions and shows. He was always someone I enjoyed talking to after Bayside's shows.. his jokes were dumb, but he was amazing.. I went into my aunts bathroom and just was in tears, I didn't believe it. My friend told me to get online and she showed me the link.. I couldn't believe it, I still can't. He was such an amazing person. It scares me because I saw him not too long ago.. hugs, talking, jokes, and smiles were involved.. and now I feel like that's just .. ugh
So I finally calmed down and went out for a bit with my cousin.. came back to their house and just stayed up because there was so much on my mind. I finally went to bed at 2:30 and got up around 7:30.. the first thing I did was call work to make sure they got the message. I spoke to John and he said he'd make sure dan got the message.. around 10:30 I called again and talked to Maria.. she didn't seem to believe me either.. I called again at noon to say my car was just getting into the shop.. Dan asks me when I'll be back.. I told him I didn't know.. he said I was supposed to work tonight.. I told him what I told Chris last night on the phone and then Dan proceeded to ask me why I didn't call anyone... I, of course, began to cry on the phone because I couldn't deal with it. I was about to scream at him, but I kept my mouth shut because I need this job. He finally said if I worked Saturday morning he could get someone to do my shift, whatever. I'll fucking work Saturday morning.
I'm sick of this shit.. my mom isn't home and all I want is comfort, but no one is around. I'm tempted to just go lay in bed with my cat and go to sleep. I have to work tomorrow so lord knows that will be a great time..
please, just buy this
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
xartificialnight:
I try. And you deserve it. I love you too. And damn I wish I could do hears on here. Lets see <3
tehwickedends:
Hi. I came across your profile and you dont live too far from me, I accually went to high school in hudson/marlboro, so I thought Id drop in a say hello.