Insomnia rears its ugly head once again...
I've been journaling for over ten years now. It started when I was in Basic Training. Writing was the only escape I had in that two month period. It just became kind of habit from there. I use to pull guard shifts and I would write just to pass the time. After the Army, I just kept on writing. I've always enjoyed being able to look back on things that have occured in my life. Some would say that I'm just a tad bit obsessive compulsive. Throwing away something that had any meaning took a tremendous amount of effort. This could be a t-shirt, drawing, pictures, magazines, newspaper clippings. Hell, I used to save my fucking recepts from the store! I used to look back over them and they would remind me of what I did that night. The receipt also had the time on it. It gave me great satisfaction to look at that time and know exactly what I was doing and who I was with. I don't save receipts anymore, but I still save my movie ticket stubs. I think it's obvious that I still save my concert tickets. It still freaks me out to see people throw this stuff away. I might end up like the old people with a couple hundred cats and stacks of junk sitting around me and my recliner. Back to journaling...I haven't been writing in a notebook like I usually do. I've grown way to attached to the internet. I have a journal that covers around five years of my life. I didn't write in it everyday. I'm thankful for that since most of it is crap like, "The girl I like hates me! Waaaaa!" or "I'm so fucked up write now...." Geez. Nowadays, I scribble all my thoughts on these good ole' interwebs. I was thinking about that a few minutes ago and it kind of freaked me out. What if the fucking Internet suddenly crashed? Dissappeared. It seems that people are putting their whole fucking lives on the computers. If the internet died, then what would happen? I guess it's similar to question that Fight Club asked in the end. Sorta. Hmmm...would a giant part of us just...dissapear? Vanish, poof! Thoughts, feelings, events, whatever....everything that was recorded on the net...gone. For me, that would be quite devastating. For others, I guess they wouldn't give a shit. I've been trying to force myself back to paper and pen. But this internet is so fucking addictive. The creators of Suicide Girls are fucking geniuses. There's a million other places I could blog and for free. Instead, I choose this site and I fucking pay for it. And I like it. It helps to have all this motivation(cool sgs). I guess there's also a part of me that likes the chance of there being an audience. I use to dream of being an archaelogist. I used to love finding stuff like fossils. I also loved finding old newspapers, pictures with notes written on them, old anthing. I love stuff like that because you can hear the thoughts of someone's whose been dead for a hundred years or so. Or a thousand years. Now that's time travel. I wanted to be buried with my journals and stuff. Or atleast make sure they'll find their way into the hands of someone who could use them. But what about all this technology? Browse this site alone and you'll find vast amounts of information about people's lives. Will all this be preseved somehow??? I hope so. Will someone read this long after I'm dead? I'm kind of new to technolgy althought I've been acquainted with computers and the internet long before it's current incarnation. Remember the BBSs? I use to spend hours on those things. I remember going to these huge nerd meetings in churches to swap games and shit. It's kind of strange, because I went on this anti-technology kick a few years ago. I didn't want anything like a cellphone, computers, videogames, or whatever. Nothing. I was really fucking close to running off to mountains. Find a fucking cave to live in. I was so sick of all of the noise. Not anymore. I fully embrace technology. But I've got a little catching up to do. I was talking to a guy in a band the other day about how hard it was back in the day. Look at what the late 70s and early 80s american punk bands had to do. It's fucking amazing at what they accomplished. Hmmm...they really had to work together to do that. Today, everybody's their own little corporation, their own little country, their own little planet. Seperated. Oh well, I will try to write more in the book instead of the machine. Fuck, how did I get started on this??? Writing. I like to write.
I will attempt to sleep again.
I've been journaling for over ten years now. It started when I was in Basic Training. Writing was the only escape I had in that two month period. It just became kind of habit from there. I use to pull guard shifts and I would write just to pass the time. After the Army, I just kept on writing. I've always enjoyed being able to look back on things that have occured in my life. Some would say that I'm just a tad bit obsessive compulsive. Throwing away something that had any meaning took a tremendous amount of effort. This could be a t-shirt, drawing, pictures, magazines, newspaper clippings. Hell, I used to save my fucking recepts from the store! I used to look back over them and they would remind me of what I did that night. The receipt also had the time on it. It gave me great satisfaction to look at that time and know exactly what I was doing and who I was with. I don't save receipts anymore, but I still save my movie ticket stubs. I think it's obvious that I still save my concert tickets. It still freaks me out to see people throw this stuff away. I might end up like the old people with a couple hundred cats and stacks of junk sitting around me and my recliner. Back to journaling...I haven't been writing in a notebook like I usually do. I've grown way to attached to the internet. I have a journal that covers around five years of my life. I didn't write in it everyday. I'm thankful for that since most of it is crap like, "The girl I like hates me! Waaaaa!" or "I'm so fucked up write now...." Geez. Nowadays, I scribble all my thoughts on these good ole' interwebs. I was thinking about that a few minutes ago and it kind of freaked me out. What if the fucking Internet suddenly crashed? Dissappeared. It seems that people are putting their whole fucking lives on the computers. If the internet died, then what would happen? I guess it's similar to question that Fight Club asked in the end. Sorta. Hmmm...would a giant part of us just...dissapear? Vanish, poof! Thoughts, feelings, events, whatever....everything that was recorded on the net...gone. For me, that would be quite devastating. For others, I guess they wouldn't give a shit. I've been trying to force myself back to paper and pen. But this internet is so fucking addictive. The creators of Suicide Girls are fucking geniuses. There's a million other places I could blog and for free. Instead, I choose this site and I fucking pay for it. And I like it. It helps to have all this motivation(cool sgs). I guess there's also a part of me that likes the chance of there being an audience. I use to dream of being an archaelogist. I used to love finding stuff like fossils. I also loved finding old newspapers, pictures with notes written on them, old anthing. I love stuff like that because you can hear the thoughts of someone's whose been dead for a hundred years or so. Or a thousand years. Now that's time travel. I wanted to be buried with my journals and stuff. Or atleast make sure they'll find their way into the hands of someone who could use them. But what about all this technology? Browse this site alone and you'll find vast amounts of information about people's lives. Will all this be preseved somehow??? I hope so. Will someone read this long after I'm dead? I'm kind of new to technolgy althought I've been acquainted with computers and the internet long before it's current incarnation. Remember the BBSs? I use to spend hours on those things. I remember going to these huge nerd meetings in churches to swap games and shit. It's kind of strange, because I went on this anti-technology kick a few years ago. I didn't want anything like a cellphone, computers, videogames, or whatever. Nothing. I was really fucking close to running off to mountains. Find a fucking cave to live in. I was so sick of all of the noise. Not anymore. I fully embrace technology. But I've got a little catching up to do. I was talking to a guy in a band the other day about how hard it was back in the day. Look at what the late 70s and early 80s american punk bands had to do. It's fucking amazing at what they accomplished. Hmmm...they really had to work together to do that. Today, everybody's their own little corporation, their own little country, their own little planet. Seperated. Oh well, I will try to write more in the book instead of the machine. Fuck, how did I get started on this??? Writing. I like to write.
I will attempt to sleep again.