signalnoise

So, things here are *bit less* cheery than they were for my last update. It seems that Cute Liberal Arts College did *not* want to give me a job. What makes this burn so bad, beyond how badly I wanted, was how I found out. One day, I was bored and cruised over to Cute Liberal Arts College's website, and there was a letter from the college president that addressed the current financial crisis. I clicked on it, sure that I was going to read that the search had been canceled. Instead, I read that hiring is going on proceeded, and they'd already filled one position - the one I applied for. That letter went up on Monday December 8, so that means the decision was (at the latest) firmed up by Friday December 5. And nobody has yet called or emailed me. Ouch.

So, I was bummed. But this is how things go. I'm not wholly sure where this leaves me. The bulk of the job season is past us. There are still a few places that have yet to schedule interviews, and they will move in January/early February. Plus, there are postdocs. But, given my luck so far, it's not clear how things will shake out. I can hang out here next year still. I can teach my ass off in the fall and winter quarters, and probably pick up some research assistant work too. Doing that, I would make *just enough* to get to through next summer. That would let me go on the market again next fall. Hopefully, then, my resume would be a bit bulkier: a few publications maybe, a few more conference appearance. On the other hand, next year's market is going to blow ass, because of the economy.

One thing I hate is feeling out of control. I detest it. And that's how I felt when facing this set of circumstances. It's hard for me even to fix some of the gaps in my resume that are holding me back. Notably: I have never taught my own class. [For what it's worth, I *wanted* to teach ... and was advised against doing so, because of the time commitment it represented.] And I can't teach this year, as a precondition of the fellowship I'm on. I can teach next year of course, but that won't help me for my resume for *next year.* That means, I won't have a "super tight" resume until the Fall 2010. And to make money for the 2010-2011 year ... I dunno: adjunct for shitty pay and no health insurance? Relocate for a postdoc for a year? The options are grim, and I am too goddamn married and old to fuck around.

But I am surprisingly upbeat about this whole situation right now. I am taking charge of my life, and I am going to apply for real person jobs. I am not abandoning academia. I am not saying that I'm quitting. I am saying: I'm taking goddamn charge of my life. Yes, this is slightly reactionary. Yes, it also makes me fucking happy as a pig in shit. I know how to run a statistical model, research a topic, conduct an interview, write an essay, give a presentation, organize a large project, think critically about a problem, plus I have a whole slew of expertise on American politics (urban politics, federalism, transportation policy etc). I am not a babe in the woods, fit only for grading blue book essays. Plus, looking for a real job lets me do things like control my geography - and you all know how I feel about the City of Big Shoulders.

I'm in the process of putting together a resume, I'm going to start hacking on a cover letter this weekend, and we'll see what happens. The economy is bad all over, but I have the luxury of time since I'm on fellowship right now. I plan to apply to things that look neat, and see what happens. If I get something great: I dunno, we'll cross that bridge when I come to it. If nothing grabs me (or no one wants me) out in the real world, I'll do the academic job market *and* real person jobs concurrently again next fall.

None of this means I'm not getting my PhD or not finishing the dissertation. I'll even spend the winter and spring hacking on a couple of articles I've got in reserve. Right now, my plan is very much on the down-low. It's really no one's business anyway.

I also realize this whole endeavor seems a bit childish and a bit like quitting. As in: oh, you failed the first time out Snowflake SignalNoise and so now you're taking your ball and going home? I suppose there is part of that in there .... but at the same time I've had this thought: Is this job worth moving to some place I hate for a terrible job where I'm overworked and subjected to moronic students? And, quite frankly, I'm scared of the academic ghetto, which no one (like your advisors) likes to talk about. The academic ghetto refers to that string of adjunct positions and postdocs people find themselves in when they can't land a real job .... and it's like quicksand. Some people eventually break out, but not all of them. Maybe not most. I just don't want to get bitter.

The other thing driving this, though, is just not my own *failure* in the field. It's also a realization of how fucked up this profession is. Seriously, not calling me when I didn't get the job? I know that happens in a lot of areas, but most job interviews don't involve a day and a half extravaganza of meetings and presentations. Beyond that, just the structure of academia. There are, quite frankly, too many PhD granting schools, churning out too many fresh PhDs, not enough new jobs being created, too few retirees, too many departments (both administrators and faculty) benefiting from a large supply of cheap temporary labor, and no one is talking to their students about other careers outside the academy. This is a shitty way to treat people who are, essentially, dedicated to an intense apprenticeship program. Yes, I realize *all* jobs suck. But I'm not sure most jobs pay you so bad for so much work, and suck your soul and identity in the same way this one does. So, I'm giving myself a Plan B. That's what this comes down to. I dunno. We'll see, and that's all we can do right?