Mood: Serenity with occasional patches of Sadness
Music: is all gone at the moment.
So I'm going through this huge period of transition in my life right now...
...I had a discussion last night that I had put off for a year (yes, a year EXACTLY) and the feeling of accomplishment after it has still not warn off.
I'm done with college and I ended a relationship; I'm about to move but right before that Marc will be back.
I have to redo my website from scratch, but I know exactly how to do it now, and it's going to be sweet.
Many issues with my Mom are working themselves out finally; and I have decided not to let my father have any more chances at communicating with me anymore.
In short, I'm getting tons of closure all at once - and 'I, Robot' is about to come out.
The only real issue on the table (I think) when all the smoke clears is that my sister is a real bad drug addict and there seems to be nothing my mom or I can do about that...which could mean her eventual death.
I'm not sure what to do...the last thing on earth I want is for my sister to die. I've taken a hands off policy for a year and things have only got worse - we think she's using cocaine now. And if she's not then she probably soon will be considering who are the influences in her life at the moment.
I know that none of this is in any way my fault but I'm still worried sick about my sister. Honestly my mom is getting what she deserves, the way my parents treated us it's a miracle that we didn't both kill ourselves (not that Sara hasn't tried several times and not that I didn't consider it for about a year).
It's a very sad situation. My sister is one of the more smart people on the planet if you ever can get her off drugs for a week.
My family life always has this Russian Novle drama to it, and I got burnt out on that about a year ago but I do feel that I should be somewhat responsible here and intervene somehow...the problem is I have no clue how to and neither does my mom.
So, I guess what I'm saying is: For the first time in my life I'm actually OK and have the luxury to worry about other people.
Damn is that wierd.
I feel so lost right now....
========================
Wow...I just had the coolest dream.
I was a lesbein who could fly.
And I got some.
I'll update more when I'm fully awake.
Music: is all gone at the moment.
So I'm going through this huge period of transition in my life right now...
...I had a discussion last night that I had put off for a year (yes, a year EXACTLY) and the feeling of accomplishment after it has still not warn off.
I'm done with college and I ended a relationship; I'm about to move but right before that Marc will be back.
I have to redo my website from scratch, but I know exactly how to do it now, and it's going to be sweet.
Many issues with my Mom are working themselves out finally; and I have decided not to let my father have any more chances at communicating with me anymore.
In short, I'm getting tons of closure all at once - and 'I, Robot' is about to come out.
The only real issue on the table (I think) when all the smoke clears is that my sister is a real bad drug addict and there seems to be nothing my mom or I can do about that...which could mean her eventual death.
I'm not sure what to do...the last thing on earth I want is for my sister to die. I've taken a hands off policy for a year and things have only got worse - we think she's using cocaine now. And if she's not then she probably soon will be considering who are the influences in her life at the moment.
I know that none of this is in any way my fault but I'm still worried sick about my sister. Honestly my mom is getting what she deserves, the way my parents treated us it's a miracle that we didn't both kill ourselves (not that Sara hasn't tried several times and not that I didn't consider it for about a year).
It's a very sad situation. My sister is one of the more smart people on the planet if you ever can get her off drugs for a week.
My family life always has this Russian Novle drama to it, and I got burnt out on that about a year ago but I do feel that I should be somewhat responsible here and intervene somehow...the problem is I have no clue how to and neither does my mom.
So, I guess what I'm saying is: For the first time in my life I'm actually OK and have the luxury to worry about other people.
Damn is that wierd.
I feel so lost right now....
========================
Wow...I just had the coolest dream.
I was a lesbein who could fly.
And I got some.
I'll update more when I'm fully awake.
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
I hope that your sister can someday face her problem...My brother is kind of the same, though he's not really into serious drugs...yet.
No matter what my mom or I say to him, he still does it, and it pisses me off sometimes because he always used to tell me how against any kind of smoking he was....
Such a hypocrite. *sigh*
Anyway, sorry for rambling.
Have a good weekend!
~T.C.