Well, my life ain't getting any cleaner this way. Not sure when i'm supposed to take time for responsibilities other than work, and working 2 jobs has yet to prove it's benefits. Technically, it's been a detriment so far.I have no idea what the F is going on.
I catch myself planning international vacations, with large dollar price tags, like i'd rather go somewhere great and come back to this. Rather I'd probably move everything, start over again. Again. and again. How many times haas this been so far, too many? Not Enough?
It used to be the people i met had an affect on me for the long term. Even the best ones from here i feel like i have to part with. Well, the one anyway. and as much as i like her biting kisses, and as much as i'd like it to be more, i know it never will be. The others here i either will never be rid of, or may never see again and merely miss ever so slightly. I suppose this makes me somewhat jaded, somewhat of an abandoner. I don't really mind.
I'm still glad I made this journey north. It's proven to be informative in the least. It's nice to put my face to the grinding wheel of my own habits, my own bullshit. It's good to get angry again, rather than dwell in the sad. It's rather nice to feel that rage, and desire, and feel my disconnections from the average life with a smile. It's good to live in the shadow of the mountains again. To be cold, and hungry, and pained and love it. I missed being sore, i lived in my shell, my failure. Now i carry these things with me.
It seems 12 hours of sleep will do a man good. Although i can't see well through blurry eyes and my voice has yet to kick in. I'm hungry, but then that all ain't so bad. I bet i stink too. heh. I could be dangerous today. If i can manage to get some chores done, clean a little, maybe find my pants. Did I leave them on your floor or mine?
Not much of a trick question i suppose.
I catch myself planning international vacations, with large dollar price tags, like i'd rather go somewhere great and come back to this. Rather I'd probably move everything, start over again. Again. and again. How many times haas this been so far, too many? Not Enough?
It used to be the people i met had an affect on me for the long term. Even the best ones from here i feel like i have to part with. Well, the one anyway. and as much as i like her biting kisses, and as much as i'd like it to be more, i know it never will be. The others here i either will never be rid of, or may never see again and merely miss ever so slightly. I suppose this makes me somewhat jaded, somewhat of an abandoner. I don't really mind.
I'm still glad I made this journey north. It's proven to be informative in the least. It's nice to put my face to the grinding wheel of my own habits, my own bullshit. It's good to get angry again, rather than dwell in the sad. It's rather nice to feel that rage, and desire, and feel my disconnections from the average life with a smile. It's good to live in the shadow of the mountains again. To be cold, and hungry, and pained and love it. I missed being sore, i lived in my shell, my failure. Now i carry these things with me.
It seems 12 hours of sleep will do a man good. Although i can't see well through blurry eyes and my voice has yet to kick in. I'm hungry, but then that all ain't so bad. I bet i stink too. heh. I could be dangerous today. If i can manage to get some chores done, clean a little, maybe find my pants. Did I leave them on your floor or mine?
Not much of a trick question i suppose.
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~cheers