Sooooo, I lift heavy things all day at both of my jobs. That's the price you pay for being a fuck off in school! But, I have had a job since I was 16, so I'm no slacker. Anyhoooooo, I was a lifting a very heavy TV tonight and my pants ripped. Well, that's not all! Look what happened to my poor little ass. 
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I'm never going ot lift anything heavy again.
It's ok - I had kinda burnt my toast anyway
And yeah - we're settling in nicely & stuff.
Every time I go out I find myself wondering why the HELL I haven't lived here my whole life