sick

So I've had to take action as far as the whole MathGirl situation goes. This involved writing her about what exactly my feelings toward her are. (I know - I too feel that writing such things is inappropriate, and they should be done in person and all, but that just wasn't possible.)

In my experience this is never a good idea.

But we pretty much tell each other everything, and she could tell there was something I wasn't sharing, and she convinced me that it would never be a burden on her for me to share my problems with her.

So I spilled, though against my better judgement. I don't think I appeared too crazy. Just told her I really like her, and though I don't know if there's a happily-ever-after for us I want the opportunity to find out. And how in the past I've come up with all sorts of excuses to avoid taking that chance - she's too far away, it would disrupt her education, all that. Then how these are really just that - excuses. Because I'm really just afraid.

But for once I refuse to let my fear rule my decisions.

As I've said, in my experience this sort of thing usually ends badly. But she's not like other girls. For one, I think she actually has similar feelings toward me, so I'm not just some annoying guy who's pursuing her against her wishes. At least I hope that's how it all works out.

We'll see. At least I've now taken a chance, and can't regret that I never tried.