Current Mood: ARGH!
On the stereo: Grrr Radio 1 - change it in a tick
In the mug: Yorkshire Tea hmmmm
In the tank: BRAINS - I love him!
'Ning........
What is going on? I haven't been around for a coupla days as I have been ill. Well, I say ill - I have been having unexplained crazy headaches and sore back and neck. Thinking I had just pulled a muscle I thought nothing of it really until I blacked out in my car and realised - these were no normal headaches. One week later I'm physically feeling much better. But scared almost to death. I really thought my days were numbered - going to bed with a pounding head and aching so much that I couldn't sleep was taking its toll on me, my ability to reason and my general well being. I can't be having that.
So after a trip to the docs, I'm on the pill - hahaha, could be hormones (women - complicated beings!) and booked in for a cat scan as soon as there is space on the old NHS waiting list. I have to take more exercise, stop smoking and address my diet.
I don't wanna be poorly. I have had everything in my past -
To be perfectly honest I feel my situation is gettin my down too. I live at home with my olds after my last relationship became violent and I had to leave my home with my ex-partner VERY swiftly. I have been on the council list for ages but have had nothing suitable offered.
So - I'm home, back with family and it's doing my head in! HOW ON EARTH DO PEOPLE GET A COUNCIL HOUSE?? These days with the mental house prices I know I'm not unique in my situtation - and the competition for housing is just incredible.
I am struggling - I have come to realise that this is having a knock on effect on how I live my life, how I feel about myself, the way I come accross to people and my general lust for life is becoming less and less knowing that I pretty much have to report back to the parents on where I am, where I've been, who I've been with etc. I need to break free, I'm stiffled and pissed off! haha - not really pissed off, just a tad annoyed. I will have a cry just to release the tension.
No money, no job, no fella, no prospects - shit hahah - it will call come good!
Been looking for jobs this week (and everyother week) and nothing grabs my attention - I'm not an office worker at all, and need something outside. I like physical labour, dirty hands and ruddy cheeks. But who wants to employ a girl?
Ahhh - vent over for now, I just need to prioritse my life and start again, the little steps that I still haven't sorted out.
Blokes - got the big heave hoo from the BMXer today.
Heard from him on Monday - got a suprise text after he asked me to drop off some CDs of local unsigned bands and gave him some tickets for my Bro's Gig at Manchester Academy. I was very suprised.
Anyway - egged on by my buddy Teece, I text him. Had to be in town to sketch, so thought I would get in touch as I always had done before. He's busy...... just wanna know what happened really - if he's gone back to his lady then that's fine - I'd rather know than be left wondering, it would be a real shame to lose someone who ultimately I respect - I can be a hard faced bitch too and totally separtate sex from my emotions once told the truth. But he's interested in my Bro's band for a BMX vid they are making for the shop, and that is all I am into at the moment - getting the band really off the ground and into as many heads as possible.
I am a bit down this week - had a real buzz at the begining, jetting to the theme park and havin a total blast. But today I just kinda feel trapped, empty and in a bit of a void - need to escape.
I can feel a trip to the seaside evolving soon.
On a lighter note - my two best buddies Teresa and Chris announced they are expecting. So happy for them.
Right, I'm gonna crack on with these applications and go for a big fat walk and clear my head.
I'll be right - don't worry!!
Take care my lovlies - come tell me your tales.
Shy xx
On the stereo: Grrr Radio 1 - change it in a tick
In the mug: Yorkshire Tea hmmmm
In the tank: BRAINS - I love him!
'Ning........
What is going on? I haven't been around for a coupla days as I have been ill. Well, I say ill - I have been having unexplained crazy headaches and sore back and neck. Thinking I had just pulled a muscle I thought nothing of it really until I blacked out in my car and realised - these were no normal headaches. One week later I'm physically feeling much better. But scared almost to death. I really thought my days were numbered - going to bed with a pounding head and aching so much that I couldn't sleep was taking its toll on me, my ability to reason and my general well being. I can't be having that.
So after a trip to the docs, I'm on the pill - hahaha, could be hormones (women - complicated beings!) and booked in for a cat scan as soon as there is space on the old NHS waiting list. I have to take more exercise, stop smoking and address my diet.
I don't wanna be poorly. I have had everything in my past -
To be perfectly honest I feel my situation is gettin my down too. I live at home with my olds after my last relationship became violent and I had to leave my home with my ex-partner VERY swiftly. I have been on the council list for ages but have had nothing suitable offered.
So - I'm home, back with family and it's doing my head in! HOW ON EARTH DO PEOPLE GET A COUNCIL HOUSE?? These days with the mental house prices I know I'm not unique in my situtation - and the competition for housing is just incredible.
I am struggling - I have come to realise that this is having a knock on effect on how I live my life, how I feel about myself, the way I come accross to people and my general lust for life is becoming less and less knowing that I pretty much have to report back to the parents on where I am, where I've been, who I've been with etc. I need to break free, I'm stiffled and pissed off! haha - not really pissed off, just a tad annoyed. I will have a cry just to release the tension.
No money, no job, no fella, no prospects - shit hahah - it will call come good!
Been looking for jobs this week (and everyother week) and nothing grabs my attention - I'm not an office worker at all, and need something outside. I like physical labour, dirty hands and ruddy cheeks. But who wants to employ a girl?
Ahhh - vent over for now, I just need to prioritse my life and start again, the little steps that I still haven't sorted out.
Blokes - got the big heave hoo from the BMXer today.
Heard from him on Monday - got a suprise text after he asked me to drop off some CDs of local unsigned bands and gave him some tickets for my Bro's Gig at Manchester Academy. I was very suprised.
Anyway - egged on by my buddy Teece, I text him. Had to be in town to sketch, so thought I would get in touch as I always had done before. He's busy...... just wanna know what happened really - if he's gone back to his lady then that's fine - I'd rather know than be left wondering, it would be a real shame to lose someone who ultimately I respect - I can be a hard faced bitch too and totally separtate sex from my emotions once told the truth. But he's interested in my Bro's band for a BMX vid they are making for the shop, and that is all I am into at the moment - getting the band really off the ground and into as many heads as possible.
I am a bit down this week - had a real buzz at the begining, jetting to the theme park and havin a total blast. But today I just kinda feel trapped, empty and in a bit of a void - need to escape.
I can feel a trip to the seaside evolving soon.
On a lighter note - my two best buddies Teresa and Chris announced they are expecting. So happy for them.
Right, I'm gonna crack on with these applications and go for a big fat walk and clear my head.
I'll be right - don't worry!!
Take care my lovlies - come tell me your tales.
Shy xx
VIEW 25 of 69 COMMENTS
But, if I get hospitalised soon, inevitably as a result of a DIY accident, i'll sneek them under my smock for you!
That dentists chair sounds cool though. I only have bog standard ikea, so the next time I redecorate, i'll be in touch.
The weekend isn't off to a great start - I've spent unholy amounts of money on renting a car after crashing my girlfriends on thursday. So, for economic reasons, I'm being a social hermit for a while. Gah!
How are you? I hope your housing situation has improved.
[Edited on Oct 29, 2005 3:38PM]