Obviously everyone on this site is able to express sexuality; maybe some better then others, but nonetheless we all do. Now, I've never been one to be too shy about sex or my body and I have two little ones. My son will be 5 this month and my daughter is going on 2 in July. My son still sees me naked to this day. I walk from the bathroom to my room naked. I lounge in my robe with nothing underneath and he comes in the bathroom when I am in the shower. I've had some people comment that he is too old to see me naked any more. My opinion on this differs majorly. I feel if I don't make a big deal now of my children seeing me naked... nakedness, sex and sexuality will be natural for them. Just out of curiosity what opinion do some of you have? What are your views?
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Nudity that is intended to be shocking or sexual or threatening or lewd through the individual's intent and behavior--now that's child abuse. But legally defining the mere existence of nudity as lewdness or obscenity is an evil, archaic notion that must be stamped out.
Children are never taught to accept the aging cycle of human beings. Everyone dreads getting old. We think old bodies are ugly. We fear them. For God's sake, cover them up! And lo and behold, look at the youth-worshiping culture we now have. Coincidence?
Billions of dollars are spent on cosmetics, clothing, even surgery, to try and pretend we're not getting old. Why? Because we fear it. Why? Because we never see it.
Because we constantly hide our bodies from one another, we never get to see the natural aging life cycle of human bodies. That which is hidden from us is mysterious and frightening.
If we could simply see human bodies in all the different stages of aging on a regular basis, it would be a familiar sight to us, a comfortable sight. Aging would be a natural thing, not something to fight tooth and nail in dread.
Is it not emotional abuse to teach people to fear the natural life cycles of their own bodies?
Children, like all people, equate their bodies with themselves. They are their bodies. If we teach them to be afraid and ashamed of their bodies (and we do), they will be ashamed of themselves. And thus a rampant epidemic of self-loathing thrives in our culture.
Especially our girls. The most beautiful women in the world still think there's something wrong with their bodies.
Children are killing themselves over poor self-image. The girl that purges or starves herself to death because she can't accept her body is a victim of the self-loathing that anti-nude attitudes help to foster. The gang banger who carries a gun and kills someone for "dissing" him is literally killing children over self-esteem. "You disrespect me, you die."
And where does this rampant lack of self-esteem come from? The causes are complex, but how can the lifelong shame we feel over our own bodies not be a contributor?
Our luxury of hiding nudity from each other may even be killing our children. Never mind emotional abuse. This is physical abuse of the ugliest kind. All because we don't want to see a nude human body.
That's where the true shame lies, not in our bodies!
Many children never get to feel totally comfortable with the opposite sex and never get an adequate education on human bodies to satisfy their curiosity. Most children will not tolerate this situation forever. If the adult community won't satisfy their need for knowledge in safe, appropriate, supervised environments, they will do it on their own. They will do it in any way they can. Since the adult community forbids them from experiencing nudity in safe, wholesome ways, they will resort to other means.
As they resort to other means, their normal, natural desire to satisfy curiosity gets mixed up with all sorts of negative feelings. Guilt, shame, embarrassment, self-loathing, fear of punishment. Because these negative emotions keep many children from doing too much experimenting before puberty, experimenting happens after puberty when the powerful sex drive overcomes the negative emotions.
So now we have guilt, shame, embarrassment, fear, and self-loathing associated with sexual arousal too. And we expect healthy adult relations to develop from this?
Because the adolescent feels all these negative emotions associated with normal and natural curiosity and sexual urges, and because the adolescent is still trying to develop effective skills at relating with the opposite sex, that adolescent will feel intimidated by the opposite sex.
So what will some adolescents do? Resort to less intimidating individuals to do their experimenting with. Resort to younger children.
And a possible sexual predator is born.
Do I even need to point out how this is emotional abuse?
Our society in the last few decades has become more and more antagonistic toward nudity. Where once skinnydipping was the norm among Boy Scouts and required at YMCA pools, where once locker rooms were actually used to change clothes in, where once doctor's offices were a place where doctors could easily access the human body they were supposed to give medical attention to, we now have a near absence of nudity anywhere in normal life.
Nowhere can we find wholesome, nonsexual images of the nude human body. Nowhere can we enjoy the affirming, even healing experience of being nude in front of someone else and be accepted for who we are. We have forfeited all images of the human body to those who would portray it in sexual and degrading ways. All because, from birth, we are brainwashed into believing nudity is harmful.
And why do we do that to our children? Because our parents did it to us. Because their parents did it to them. And so on and so on.
When will we break this destructive cycle?
No one ever tries, because no one ever thinks about it. You don't question something that has been brainwashed into you every minute of your life since birth.
But we need to question it. The emotional and physical health of our children are at stake. In some cases, even their very lives are at stake. Aren't these important enough reasons to question something you've simply assumed was true all your life?
Do we demand constant nudity?
Of course not. There are many times when nudity would be uncomfortable, even downright unhealthy.
Do we demand that everyone be nude, whether they like it or not?
Perish the thought. That would be as immoral as using the law to force everyone to wear clothes all the time.
All we ask is that those who wish to be nude under reasonable circumstances be allowed to do so. Not for shock value, not for sexual titillation, not for confrontational purposes, not for exhibitionist urges. Simply because nudity is a natural, comfortable, pleasant, wholesome, healthy thing to be every so often. Those who enjoy it ought to be able to do so. Those who don't enjoy it don't have to do it at all.