shubniggurath

i say bah! buh! bleh! people are trite and fake all the time and i just sit there, knowing things that i know seeing the things that i see, knowing full and well how things work, and still i give myself the stupid feeling of not giving up on humanity, granted there are definatly people in my life that i haven't given up on yet but it is precious few. my family will always remain in my heart, as will some of my friends, but others continue to play games, and i dont stand for that shit anymore, i dont stand with or anywhere near it, so i will just continue to smile, and maybe something will jolt them out of the fairytales, oh and by the way, ive decided im sick of fairytales, i have always asked for brutal fucking truth. BRUTAL FUCKING TRUTH, i just know that none of the people that i want to read this will, but thats ok, it makes me feel better to know that i have said it somewhere, because ther people that need to hear it cant handle it, i know because ive tried, and i also say this, i may have said something in the past that i will now comepletly take back, it is so possible to be in love with more than one person, the people in question know who they are, i just dont know man, its like one second, your here one second your there, but its easy to see the right desicion, its blatantly slapped me in the face a number of times, and now i sit, in complete deppresion about the tide thats coming in, and the nessecary action that i force myself to take, i will fight hard for this shit, i will fight harder than anybody can imagine, because if someone says something to you that can not be taken anyway but meaningfully because they know what your about, then its worth fighting for, and ive been to quiet for too long, time has come, and i wont let my life pass me by........................

"live with the desicions you make, or die in the pain you create " -me