04 PM ...Most recent spoken word I've written. First time I've published it online at all, very sensitive subject for me so please be gentle with feedback however constructive criticism is ALWAYS welcome of course! I've already edited this like 20 times and it still doesn't feel right so.... here it is.
Cant move again Im frozen Im dead Thought it was gone Ran it...
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Cant move again Im frozen Im dead Thought it was gone Ran it...
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Merry Christmas to all my friends here on SG! Hope everyone's holiday was as blessed as mine! Time to snuggle with my love and watch some netflix......
_deviant1_:
Merry Belated Christmas to you as well! 
So I was approved for hopeful status a while back but never submitted a set for member review..... I think im gonna give it another shot and maybe someday I will get to be a real sg 
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metroglamour:
Go for it!
shpeecialz:
If anyone knows any good photographers in Montana please let me know
A new book
First page
Looking for a new future
Brain spinnin outta my head
Thoughtless, mindless self endangerment
Mutilation of the soul
remind myself not so long ago
happiness unfantasized
just hopelesness I'd chastisized
Now pacing uncontrollably
with this presence of obsession
Dreaming into desintigration
That dream now lost and I might as well be dead
Mindless reckless endangerment
and I might as well...
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First page
Looking for a new future
Brain spinnin outta my head
Thoughtless, mindless self endangerment
Mutilation of the soul
remind myself not so long ago
happiness unfantasized
just hopelesness I'd chastisized
Now pacing uncontrollably
with this presence of obsession
Dreaming into desintigration
That dream now lost and I might as well be dead
Mindless reckless endangerment
and I might as well...
Read More
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jonas_thorazine:
Let us know you're still alive, please! 
shpeecialz:
Still alive and im backkkkkkkk 
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shpeecialz:
@ captain I bet he does lol..... glad you guys missed me so nice to be loved
creamcuffs:
And you are?
Just kidding. Don't throw your shoe at me.
I'm very glad you are back and posted an awesome photo to boot
Just kidding. Don't throw your shoe at me.
I'm very glad you are back and posted an awesome photo to boot
In fear of ridicule
no self-expression
A selfish mind
tears of joy silenced
each day further deep down inside
how much longer will you tolerate me...
....follow me along this deceitful ride?
such a beautiful, simple truth
still fashioning synthetic emotions
erase all this infatuation from my mind
shpeecialzVIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
creamcuffs:
You express yourself very very well. I feel though like a need be playing a bongo when I read your words
A very Happy New Year to you
A very Happy New Year to you
shpeecialz:
lol yeah that's the total flow I'm going for... glad you caught that Spoken Word is primarily my style....
Spoken Word is primarily my style....Masochist instinct and the embers of it's ruin
Now feeding the fire
Homicidal tendencies break free
Only to conspire
Now feeding the fire
Homicidal tendencies break free
Only to conspire
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shandyowl:
I do believe that is one of the Oxford English Dictionary's definitons of "marriage"
shpeecialz:
Which is why I am a firm believer that I shall never engage in such a ridiculous arrangement.... I prefer relationshits! haha
Wrote this on my "welcome guide" I was given in jail haha. Very rough but whatever it helped me vent on a lot of shit without having to scream at people
Relapsensational
subconscious soul-less thought-less control
the more i relapse the deeper the hole
overcompensation always to the extreme
anxiously awaiting the next best thing
Compromise sanity in exchange for nothing
and while seeking serenity...
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Relapsensational
subconscious soul-less thought-less control
the more i relapse the deeper the hole
overcompensation always to the extreme
anxiously awaiting the next best thing
Compromise sanity in exchange for nothing
and while seeking serenity...
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the_captain:
Venting is good! It's good to have a good person who will listen to you vent without judgement.
0o111111:
Wow.. I can only imagine the contents of that "welcome guide."
sent a few new pics to my boy toy in seattle... thought I'd share... check 'em under my photo tab
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shandyowl:
Even if you are stuck indoors surely your boy is allowed conjugal visits?
knives2meatyou:
Your boy is a lucky toy. Please consider all of us your virtual toys. Pleased to meet you.
damn... just got out of jail last night after a two week stretch... now on house arrest. Gonna keep my laptop a lot of company in the meantime!
shandyowl:
It may not be much consolation but your experience has perhasp given you an interesting tale to tell. There was a guy I saw on America's Wildest Police Chases and all I could think was "Imagine being able to sit down in a bar and say 'Let me tell you about the time I was driving a flatbed full of burning lumber along the freeway at 100mph with the cops shooting at me'" Having done that elevates him to a level of existence that normal human beings can only dream of.
shpeecialz:
OMG I fucking love it! And yes... there is a great story to tell... once all the court shit is over with haha!
New day... yay! My best friend had her baby yesterday and going shopping with a friend all day today... then going to visit new baby tomorrow! Great weekend planned!
So I've lost a lot of weight due to a recent addiction that almost cost my life... and so I am now attempting to recover after loss of a relationship, control and any and all the chemicals craved... but I still want to get my first set done finally.... especially now that I don't have a significant other to provide opinions on what is acceptably...
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