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shovelface

Canada

Member Since 2003

Followers 4 Following 40

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Friday Jun 10, 2005

Jun 10, 2005
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Okay, here's the awesomest thing to ever happen.

Story- As an electrician I often have to go into unsavory places to string wires for electrical devices (ie-plugs, switches and the sort.). Such places might consist of an attic, or underneath a mobile home if your karma hates you. The worst place I've found so far was at this one old house that my ex-girlfriend and her guy just bought.

The basement is accessed through a trap door in the kitchen and is really only 1/3rd the size of the house. Under the rest of the house is really just a partially excavated hole in the ground with the ductwork from the furnace running haphazardly every which way. The hole to get in there is really only big enough for a scrawny fyuker like me to barely squeeze through.

After trying to get in for a couple of minutes, my worthless apprentice (who is easily as scrawny as I am) decided it to be an impossibility. Not being the type of person who likes to force people to do things they dislike, I decided to do it myself (what a nice guy.)

The area I had to crawl under was only about 1 1/2' high, and dripping with cobwebs. I grew up with a crazy fear of spiders, and even though I have mostly gotten past that, I still can't bring myself to actually touch a live one. Needless to say, I had to put my hood over my head and revert to my happy place in order to force myself to crawl the 40' to the other end of the house (dragging with me my drill, flashlight, tape measure, and wire). I spent nearly half the workday (3-4 hours) in this dungeon crawling back and forth, drilling holes up into the walls, and stringing wires for extra plugs that they needed for fishtanks and washing machines and such.

Here comes the best part. When the time came to cross over to the other half of the house, I found myself needing to squeeze between a furnace duct and the main floor joist. They would have been way to close together to get between, but because they were slightly offset, I figured that I had enough room to weasle over the duct, then bend down under the joist.

I got my head and chest through, but when I tried to squeeze my waist through, my "huge" ass wouldn't allow it. I tried backing out, but my chest hooked on the duct and I was stuck. Panic began to set in. I tried going forwards, backwards, I turned onto my back, but no amount wriggling would allow me to get out. My heart was racing, and my mouth was spitting out expletives in a futile attempt to lose body mass in any way possible. I finally just reefed my way back out the way I got in, and I now have huge bruises on my chest and back.

I was probably only stuck for a couple of minutes, but I'm sure I lost a few years off my life from all the panicing I was doing. Next time, the apprentice goes in.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
torai:
well you take the cake. Rivers overflowing with crap and now this story.

You are one brave man. You may have bruises but your ever so exciting tale of mystery and drama is an awesome one to tell.
Although it probably didnt seem so at the time.

May you be consisdered a electric hero wink
Jun 14, 2005
atticstar:
sounds like everything's coming up millhouse's dad on your endwink
Jun 15, 2005

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