Ok, so I have a dillemma.
I like this site. I came here by accident when I was searching out Jhonen Vasquez interviews (and I found a really good one.) I read the interview, and decided to check out the site. I like naked girls, and I like mysterious goth girls, and I like tattoos, and I can afford the membership. So here I am.
I came here for a while, just to look at the photosets, and do my thing and whatever, and for a short while, (when I had a girlfriend) I stopped coming here. (no pun intended) After we broke up, I found my way back and resumed my account.
I eventually wandered around to check out other members, and eventually started my profile, and got some pictures up, and made some friends, and now I find myself coming here less for the pictures and more for the community. I like the people here, they are generally smart, generally open minded, and generally friendly. This is not my dillemma.
My dillemma is what to do if I should accrue a new girlfriend. I don't have a specific girl in mind, so I don't know what her reaction to the site would be. Maybe she would like it, maybe she wouldn't, maybe she would be from the site, maybe not. The problem is this. I feel that if I am going to go out with a girl, I should devote myself entirely to her, and I don't want to have these wandering eyes. Perhaps she would understand (as my last girlfriend did when I told her.) She said that everyone looks at porn and I understand that, but I don't want to be the type of guy who lusts after other girls when his girlfriend isn't looking. I don't like the way it makes me feel to do it, and I don't like the way it would make her feel.
I'm sure that I could maintain a connection to the community without all the oogling, but why should I tempt myself. Call me old fashioned (go ahead, call me that), but I want her (whoever she is) to be enough to satisfy me, and there should really be no excuse for me to go elsewhere looking for it. I would probably feel hurt if she was looking for satisfaction elsewhere, and I wouldn't want to hurt her in that way.
So by now it might be plain to see that I am in fact a Christian. Maybe it isn't. Whatever. I'm not ashamed of it, and I'm probably not what a lot of people expect from a Christian. Maybe some people would say that We're all intolerant, and we think that we're better than everyone else, but that is the opposite of what being a christian is about. It's supposed to be about tolerance, and loving people no matter what, and being humble, but we are all imperfect beings, and too often, we screw up and bring hatred upon ourselves. I screw up all the time, I'm a complete idiot, and sometimes that comes through, but I scrape my life together, and move on to the next obstacle.
Long story short, this works for me. It gives me hope, it keeps me in check, and while it may not be what other people are looking for, it helps me live my life in a way that will hopefully affect others positively.
Regarding my dillemma, who knows? Maybe it won't be a dillemma when the right girl comes along. Maybe she won't come along and I'll have to go it on my own. Whatever. I feel pretty good, and I'm not afraid.
Disclaimer edit- The purpose of this post is not to say "everyone follow me, do what I'm doing". It is simply me trying to give anyone who might be looking, a better understanding of who I am. If you can respect that, cool, if not, that's fine too, it's your perogative (Wow, I can not for the life of me find that word in the dictionary. Oh well, hopefully the point comes across anyways)
I like this site. I came here by accident when I was searching out Jhonen Vasquez interviews (and I found a really good one.) I read the interview, and decided to check out the site. I like naked girls, and I like mysterious goth girls, and I like tattoos, and I can afford the membership. So here I am.
I came here for a while, just to look at the photosets, and do my thing and whatever, and for a short while, (when I had a girlfriend) I stopped coming here. (no pun intended) After we broke up, I found my way back and resumed my account.
I eventually wandered around to check out other members, and eventually started my profile, and got some pictures up, and made some friends, and now I find myself coming here less for the pictures and more for the community. I like the people here, they are generally smart, generally open minded, and generally friendly. This is not my dillemma.
My dillemma is what to do if I should accrue a new girlfriend. I don't have a specific girl in mind, so I don't know what her reaction to the site would be. Maybe she would like it, maybe she wouldn't, maybe she would be from the site, maybe not. The problem is this. I feel that if I am going to go out with a girl, I should devote myself entirely to her, and I don't want to have these wandering eyes. Perhaps she would understand (as my last girlfriend did when I told her.) She said that everyone looks at porn and I understand that, but I don't want to be the type of guy who lusts after other girls when his girlfriend isn't looking. I don't like the way it makes me feel to do it, and I don't like the way it would make her feel.
I'm sure that I could maintain a connection to the community without all the oogling, but why should I tempt myself. Call me old fashioned (go ahead, call me that), but I want her (whoever she is) to be enough to satisfy me, and there should really be no excuse for me to go elsewhere looking for it. I would probably feel hurt if she was looking for satisfaction elsewhere, and I wouldn't want to hurt her in that way.
So by now it might be plain to see that I am in fact a Christian. Maybe it isn't. Whatever. I'm not ashamed of it, and I'm probably not what a lot of people expect from a Christian. Maybe some people would say that We're all intolerant, and we think that we're better than everyone else, but that is the opposite of what being a christian is about. It's supposed to be about tolerance, and loving people no matter what, and being humble, but we are all imperfect beings, and too often, we screw up and bring hatred upon ourselves. I screw up all the time, I'm a complete idiot, and sometimes that comes through, but I scrape my life together, and move on to the next obstacle.
Long story short, this works for me. It gives me hope, it keeps me in check, and while it may not be what other people are looking for, it helps me live my life in a way that will hopefully affect others positively.
Regarding my dillemma, who knows? Maybe it won't be a dillemma when the right girl comes along. Maybe she won't come along and I'll have to go it on my own. Whatever. I feel pretty good, and I'm not afraid.
Disclaimer edit- The purpose of this post is not to say "everyone follow me, do what I'm doing". It is simply me trying to give anyone who might be looking, a better understanding of who I am. If you can respect that, cool, if not, that's fine too, it's your perogative (Wow, I can not for the life of me find that word in the dictionary. Oh well, hopefully the point comes across anyways)
Prerogative - there is an "R" after the "P".
I can't say I understand but I will anyway. hehe. I used to have really strong christian beliefs. I read the bible when I was thirteen, from the book of Genesis to Revelations, lucky me.
I also used to think that I should be able to find everything I needed from that sole special person I'd spend the rest of my life with. It slowly came to me that it was fairly impossible. What my guy friends can offer me, my girlfriend won't ever. The same with the guys from the bar, the inspiration I get from some artists or directors. Personally, I figure my girlfriend will offer me what I need most from a partner and that is trust, support and intimate comfort. It's only normal to let your imagination wander. Other hot chicks are just like flowers, it's ok to look and wonder and to remind yourself that the grass always appears greener on the other side. A relationship isn't something that happens. What keeps you together is that you provide her with what is essential to her and she provides you with what is essential to you. She can't provide you with everything and you can't provide her with everything. But there are things that you prioritize and it's different from one person to the next.
Anywas what a fucking rambling. delete it if you don't understand shit from it. I'm just saying that if these ideas of sex and nudity provide something she can't provide and it offends her that you need these things then maybe she's not worht it.