damn depression is fucking contagious
today, today i am just straight the fuck up throw shit away.
i tried to call you Ada but you did not answer
grrrrrr if i get some paxil or zoloft and skittles i'd share....
i got depressed at fuck last night after searching thru fastweb's scholarship database for ones who's deadlines i have not yet missed. and these fucking essays that only contribute $500 can make you feel like a total $2 whore.
" tell us where the environment is going".... to shit
" what was the most life changing event you have lived thru"...life
" why do you want to go back to school" ...because itsn't that what i am supposed to be doing with my life?
" what was the most important lesson your parents taught you?" ...to never open up because someone will fucking break your heart, mind and will to live.
.........
all for $2000 which doesn't cover SHIT.
why the fuck is school such a GODDAMNED TRAP
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and why do you need to go to school for art blargh i know why, because i procrastinate and never get anything done if it is just for myself, if i have to PROVE myself to someone else or if i want someone elses approval oh, oh then i can get it done
Ada you and I need to have brain surgery. that is all there is to it. we need to become robots.
in happier news, TODAY IS FREE ICE CREAM DAY
go to baskin robins and get FREE ICE CREAM ...one...tiny.....minicsle...scoop of ice cream after standing in line for 30 minutes...with snot nosed, piss pants kids and cheap parents....
maybe i'll wait till tomorrow and BUY my own fucking ice cream...
i shall fill my freezer with ice cream for all the depressed days ahead !ha!
Um...... yeah I was outside with Steph discussing her wierd new diet and playing with that mangy cat that thinks it belongs to us.
I just had a very painful and mostly unsuccessfull waxing experience.... jesus fuck it hurts. And it looks like shit. I had to stop when I nearly ripped... something... off.
And red bruised bleeding tender bumpy skin is no fun to try and shave over, either. Damn that Australian lady and her cheerfull convincing infomercials!! Damn her!!
I'm going over to Adam's now but I'll totally get ice cream with you tomorrow. Or robot-brain-surgery. Whichever.
It is a shame life stinks right now. I always missed scholarship deadlines.
Man, talk about suck.